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cope.md

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 - If (you feel like) nobody [loves](love.md) you, then know that at least [drummyfish](drummyfish.md) does.
-- Going out to the nature always helps, or at least it can never hurt. Walking, nature and fresh air help the body and healthy body leads to healthy mind. Animals are best companions, go outside and observe them, play with them, talk to them. Try to create something out of wood, collect [rocks](rock.md), draw something in the sand. If you're alone, singing is therapeutic as well, try it. Someone likes sports and getting tired physically to clear the mind. Definitely get off the Internet for a while, grab a physical book if you feel like reading something.
+- Now if it's real serious, like [suicidal](suicide.md) thoughts serious, then rather seek help, there's no shame in it. You can refuse drugs or hospitalization, just talk to someone, that alone helps a lot. There's always some kind of anonymous hotline at least, it won't hurt to give it a try, no one has to know.
+- Going out to the nature always helps, or at least it can never hurt. Walking, nature, sun and fresh air help the body and healthy body leads to healthy mind, it's been known for thousands of years that pilgrimages heal the mind. Animals are best companions, go outside and observe them, play with them, talk to them. Do simple tasks, try to create something out of [wood](wood.md), collect [rocks](rock.md), draw something in the sand. If you're alone, singing is therapeutic as well, try it. Someone likes sports and getting tired physically to clear the mind. Definitely get off the Internet for a while, grab a physical book if you feel like reading something.
 - Talking and sharing your trouble is almost guaranteed to help, even if you get no advice or resolution, simply getting it off your chest is literally such a huge relief. Talk to someone, to your friends or parents, it will be a little better. { If you have no one else to talk to, you can send me an email, I will listen. ~drummyfish }
-- If it's real serious, seek help, there's no shame in it. You can refuse drugs or hospitalization, just talk to someone. Try a hotline at least.
+- Get the feelings out (but not by hurting someone else, of course). If you feel sad, then cry, swear, run outside, tell someone how you feel, do whatever you have to to let it out. Some like to write down their thoughts, some like to listen to music, go through old photos, just don't suppress your feelings -- if not dealt with, they stay and become harder to get rid of.
+- If you've been hurt, try to forgive and move on, be the better man, don't seek revenge and fight even if you'd be "in the right". Go on and swear and break something if you must, but don't hurt others. To forgive is not a weakness -- on the other hand, it's the more difficult thing to do, a sign of maturity and also a much healthier thing from long time perspective because you'll feel better about yourself. Whereas revenge leads to obsession and never ending cycle of violence, forgiveness brings peace and allows you to move on, in the long run it's much better to live having been hurt than having hurt someone.
+- Charity, [altruism](altruism.md) and helping others is therapeutic, it gives you a sense of meaning and makes you feel better. There are [dogs](dog.md) in animal shelters who need someone to take them for a walk, there are [homeless](homelessness.md) who need food, old people who have no one to talk to. Just try it and see.
+- Meditation helps some a lot. It doesn't have to be anything religious, just learning special breathing techniques is known to relieve anxiety. { This sadly never worked for me very well, but I know many people who love meditation, I think there are certain kinds of people for whom it works, maybe you're one of them. ~drummyfish }
+- [Escapism](escapism.md) (and [avoidance](avpd.md)) is an option, but indeed must be applied carefully. Escaping into a video game, a book or just a place in one's head means taking a break from the real world and all its trouble, but it would be bad to never return back. { I remember that The Elder Scrolls games helped me many years ago get through a long depression, think it was thanks to the depth of "immersion" these games offer. I wouldn't even play the game as intended, I only walked through the cities as if I was someone else in a different world, and very slowly I was able to start forgetting my IRL trouble for very short moments, then a bit longer, until it got to a somewhat bearable stage. ~drummyfish }
+- Daily routine is key to stabilizing and improving the mood, i.e. try to sleep and eat at the same time every day, go for a short walk every day, make the day predictable and have something small to look forward to, like coffee in the morning or a movie in the evening. 
 - things to realize and possibly find comfort in:
   - **We will all die**: It may seem sad at first, but it's also positive in many ways. No matter how big, all your mistakes will be erased and will seize any significance in the grand scheme of things, whatever fuck up you wish you could take back WILL be taken back, it will become absolutely unimportant. Death also means that your suffering is guaranteed to not be infinite, regardless of what happens you cannot suffer for more than, say, 150 years. Death is the only certainty and that can be comforting. You will die, your family will, the richest guy on the planet will die too, and you will maybe have lived a much happier life than him, considering he spent his time here on mindless hunting little green pieces of paper. No matter what power anyone holds, no one can ever threaten you with endless suffering, the worst anyone can ever hurt you with is a brief moment of pain and then he must leave you forever in peace. Dying may be scary but death is not nearly the worst fate at all, it is simply an infinite rest and peace, no more trouble or stress, just becoming one with the nature again, just like before birth. Although it's not recommended, there is always the last resort of [suicide](suicide.md) that provides an escape door from the worst imaginable situations, and this knowledge alone can provide some comfort. And please also ponder on the fact that fear of death is very much a bad aspect of our western culture, most other (much healthier) cultures aren't afraid of death and even welcome it as a transition to a new world -- the truth is we can never know what happens after death, things such as consciousness can never be explained withing our universe and so if nothing else, then at least the curiosity of what will come can make death a little less scary, maybe there really is a happier afterlife, no one knows. Some theorize that space may be pulsating, it expands and collapses again and everything will run over again, maybe your life will repeat. We simply don't know and that may be something to enjoy.
   - **Time heals everything**, every pain we experience we slowly get used to and learn to bear more easily as time goes on, even the worst experience like losing a child is something that, given enough time (sometimes more than a lifetime), a human somehow learns to make peace with. Even the worst wounds will hurt slightly less over time, unless we keep intentionally opening them perhaps, but even then it becomes a repeated routine and our brains are simply programmed to react to change; anything constant tends to get ignored and filtered out over time, even repeated torture. This is to say that no matter how great and hopeless your suffering, it can and probably will decrease at least slightly, and this may be something to hold on at least rationally, even if one cannot feel it in heart, it's always been like this, experience repeatedly proves this right again and again.