Update

jokes.md

@@ -8,7 +8,7 @@ Also remember the worst thing you can do to a joke is put a [disclaimer](disclai
 
 { Many of the jokes are original, some are shamelessly pulled from other sites and reworded. I don't believe [copyright](copyright.md) can apply if the expression of a joke is different, ideas can't be copyrighted. Also the exact origins of jokes are difficult to track so it's probably a kind of folklore. ~drummyfish }
 
-{ I would like to thank one anonymous friend who contributed to me many ideas for jokes here :D I usually modified them slightly. ~drummyfish }
+{ I would like to thank my friend Ramon who contributed to me many ideas for jokes here :D I usually modified them slightly. ~drummyfish }
 
 - [C++](cpp.md)
 - Why is the maximum speed called terminal velocity? Because [GUI](gui.md)s are slow.
@@ -29,16 +29,18 @@ Also remember the worst thing you can do to a joke is put a [disclaimer](disclai
 - "Never test for a bug that you don't know how to fix." --manager; "If we cannot fix it, it isn't broken." --also manager
 - a joke for minimalists:
 - When is [Micro$oft](microsoft.md) finally gonna make a product that doesn't suck???! Probably when they start manufacturing vacuum cleaners.
+- Why does a [Ruby](ruby.md) hater dislike [gemini](gemini.md)? Because it has gem. { Thanks to my dear friend :D ~drummyfish }
 - Can [free software](free_software.md) lead to insanity? I don't know, but it can make you [GNU](gnu.md)ts.
 - Man sits on a toilet, taking a [shit](shit.md), he takes a piece of toilet paper, wipes sweat off of his face, then wipes his ass with it and goes away. The next day he does the same, he sits, takes a shit, wipes his face, wipes his ass, goes away. The third day he goes to the toilet, takes a shit, wipes his ass, wipes his face... oh shit :D { I came up with this when I was taking a shit. ~drummyfish }
 - Political activists walk into a bar. [Pseudoleftist](pseudoleft) tells his friends: "hey guys, how about we have oppressive rulers and call them a [government](government.md)?" Capitalist says: "well no, let's have oppressive rulers and call them [corporations](corporation.md)". [Liberal](liberal.md) replies: "Why not both?". Monarchist goes: "no, it's all wrong, let's have oppressive rulers and call them Kings." To this pseudo communist says: "that's just shit, let's have oppressive rulers and call them the [proletariat](proletariat.md)". Then [anarcho pacifist](anpac.md) turns to them and says: "Hmmm, how about we don't have any oppressive rulers?". They lynch him.
 - There are a lot of jokes at https://jcdverha.home.xs4all.nl/scijokes/. Also http://textfiles.com/humor/JOKES/, http://textfiles.com/humor/TAGLINES/quotes-1.txt and so on. Also on [wikiwikiweb](wikiwikiweb.md) under *CategoryJoke*, *ProgrammerLightBulbJokes*, also https://www.gnu.org/fun/ etc.
-- Hello, is this anonymous [pedophile](pedophilia.md) help hotline? Yes. My 8yo daughter begs for sex, can we do penetration right away or should we start with anal?
+- Hello, is this anonymous [pedophile](pedophilia.md) help hotline? Yes. My 8yo wants it real bad, will I give her better pleasure with oral or anal?
 - What do you call a [woman](woman.md) that made a computer explode just by typing on it? Normal.
 - Does the invisible hand exist in the [free market](free_market.md)? Maybe, but if so then all it's doing is masturbating (or giving us a middle finger).
 - 90% of statistics are fake.
 - When will they remove the *[touch](touch.md)* and *[kill](kill.md)* commands from [Unix](unix.md)? Probably when they rename *[man pages](man_page.md)* to *person pages*.
 - If [law](law.md) was viewed as a programming code, it would be historically the worst case of [bloated](bloat.md) [spaghetti code](spaghetti_code.md) littered with [magic constants](magic_constant.md), undefined symbols and dead code, which is additionally deployed silently and without any [testing](testing.md). Yet it's the most important algorithm of our society.
+- What does a [chess](chess.md) player say when he meets another chess player? h[Elo](elo.md). { Again thanks to a friend <3 ~drummyfish }
 - C++ is to C as brain cancer is to brain.
 - [Entropy](entropy.md) is no longer what it used to be. Nostalgia too.
 - At the beginning there was [machine code](machine_code.md). Then they added [assembly](assembly.md) on top of it to make it more comfortable. To make programs portable they created an [operating system](os.md) and a layer of [syscalls](syscall.md). Except it didn't work because other people made other operating systems with different syscalls. So to try to make it portable again they created a high-level language [compiler](compiler.md) on top of it. To make it yet more comfortable they created yet a higher level language and made a [transpiler](transpiler.md) to the lower level language. To make building more platform independent and comfortable they created [makefiles](makefile.md) on top of it. However, more jobs were needed so they created [CMake](cmake.md) on top of makefiles, just in case. It seems like CMake nowadays seems too low level so a new layer will be needed above all the meta-meta-meta build systems. I wonder how high of a tower we can make, maybe they're just trying to get a Guinness world record for the greatest bullshit sandwich in history.