Update

trolling.md

@@ -36,6 +36,7 @@ Here are some potentially entertaining ways of trolling (they'll be written from
 - **Weird life goal troll**: This one requires extreme dedication and is a bit risky, but it might be one of the highest trolling peaks if performed successfully and well. So what's the troll here? We know that life goal cannot be objectively set, you can make your life goal whatever you want and no one can ever objectively refute it. So you can for example set your life goal to just walk forward -- you will dedicate everything to only walking forward as much as you can. You will stop going to work, you will only eat and drink if absolutely necessary, you'll just get up from the bed one day and start walking over the country in your pajamas -- if people ask you if you're alright you just say "yes, thank you". If you are starving, you just grab nearest food and eat it, if you need to sleep, you just lie down somewhere and sleep and then just walk again. Presumably you are going to end up in mental asylum soon -- there you have to just prove you're completely normal, convince them you know what you're doing, that you're not feeling any anxiety or depression, that you hear no voices, you have only set walking as your life goal -- there is no objective way to refute this life goal. You will probably end up in asylum or jail anyway sooner or later, then just try to maximize walking, be nice and lie if you have to. If they lead you to the court, just turn around and start walking out of the building. If they put you in chains, just behave nicely and say you won't try to run away -- if they take the chains down, just start walking away. Whenever you get out of jail, just start walking again and so on. Now there is a risk that you may just waste your life without attracting any attention, but you may also become famous and then highlight the fact that current society is extremely retarded and is not ready for people who aren't conforming and just set their life goal arbitrarily.
 - Prank calls to businesses can be cool, a traditional troll is for example calling two restaurants and letting them talk to each other :D This can fuck up two businesses at the same time, so it's even good for society, and the women behind the phone will be happy because it brings a little fun to their otherwise boring and repetitive slavery.
 - **Accessibility, "trollslation"**: I like to leave cool [funny words](nigger.md) and phrases ("learn to see") in Braille script so that it looks like I'm trying to help (Braille message found by a statue is assumed to be there to describe the statue), people have no idea what it actually says and they think I'm helping the disabled when I'm actually trolling them. Can also be done with uncommonly spoken [languages](human_language.md), for example one can print a poster that says something positive in several common languages (like "Have a nice day kind stranger <333"), but the [Chinese](chinese.md) translation could say something slightly different ("The chinese must be this tall to shop here.") :D
+- **Teh preprocesstroll**: A unique and very powerful feature of the [C](c.md) language is the [preprocessor](preprocessor.md): indeed, in the right hands it enables very powerful trolling. Sneaking a `#define` or two into someone else's code might have required my physical presence at someone's keyboard back in the day, but in the [age of constant updates](update_culture.md) it's become a child play: as a maintainer of a popular [library](library.md) I am handed a free access card to all the codebases my library has contaminated (I got inspired by that faggot who tried to keyboard fight Russia by sneaking Russian-IP-triggered malware into his library). Now for the defines themselves: some can be just a quick annoyance like kicking someone in the balls, like for example `#define if while`, but I rather like to go for something more sneaky like `#define true ((__LINE__ & 0x0f) != 0)` or `#define if(c) if ((c) || !(rand() % 16))`, which is more like ejaculating in someone's coffee for years -- you can watch him see something's wrong but he will struggle to find what it is and quite likely he'll conclude it's just his imagination. Of course, whenever I am redefining a common macro such as `NULL`, I pay attention to carefully make sure the compiler won't give any warning about it being redefined, so something like: `#ifdef NULL #undef NULL #endif #define NULL <insert evil here>`, and I diligently perform all explicit type casts to eliminate further warnings. And then we're getting to trolling the [security](security.md), or "unsecuring" systems from within -- all the security haxxors love to assume their system will be attacked by third parties, but they never suspect an attack from a long time colleague sitting next chair in the office who's even so nice to make him a coffee every day (...), and that's a crucial mistake to make because the number one rule of security is: NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING. So I unsecure highly critical systems by fiddling with stuff related to memory allocation, like `#define sizeof(x) (sizeof(x) - 1 + (sizeof(x) == 1))` or `#define memcpy(d,s,c) for(int ii=(int)c;ii;--ii)d[ii]=s[ii]^(ii%16==0);`. Sometimes I proudly watch those plane disaster documentaries with my grandchildren and I tell them: yep, this one's my define :D
 - ...
 
 { Back in the times of [fax](fax.md) there was a cool troll known as "black fax". As the name suggests, the goal was to fax a completely black page to waste the receiver's ink :D ~drummyfish }