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Miloslav Ciz 2024-10-22 21:15:37 +02:00
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usa.md
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@ -58,6 +58,8 @@ In [Europe](europe.md), or maybe just anywhere else in the world, you are afraid
In 1920 the "land of freedom" banned drinking alcohol so that capitalist slaves could spend less time on fun and more time on slavery, this was known as the prohibition and led to skyrocketing of organized crime. Another pinnacle of stupidity indeed. This lasted over a decade.
OK so now that we've mentioned the important stuff we may talk on a more lighthearted note: what are the things typical of the big shiny USA (see also [stereotypes](stereotype.md))? It's the little differences. For example: driving a bicycle and throwing newspapers onto houses of other people who all have a [dog](dog.md) trained to catch and bring the newspaper in the house. Or school buses. States and city layouts are always rectangular and perpendicular, no organic or curved shapes. Road signs and traffic lights are also all slightly wrong, for example the lines on roads are yellow instead of white, your lights are on the OPPOSITE side of the crossroad etc. Little children are required to dissect frogs in schools. In shops you will meet baggers -- people paid to put your groceries in your bag, you can't make this up. Everyone is suing everyone constantly, no divorce or even a minor traffic incident is complete without a lawsuit over horrendous sums, criminals get sentences to hundreds of years in jail plus several lifetimes on top just to make it more dramatic. Disgusting manners in eating, roasting marshmallows, drinking wine from plastic cups, putting peanut butter on everything and having all food, including bread, sweetened to the degree that would unironically be illegal in the EU. Also weird pseudosports and measurement units. Over the top friendliness, emotion, anger and disagreement: everyone is very vocal about what's currently on his mind and has to signal it with exaggerated body language, happy people are hugging each other, kissing, singing and dancing, annoyed people are waving guns and flags and shouting at each other over the street, complete strangers will smile at you and talk to you. Everything is far apart in the US and people commonly travel from state to state and coast to coast, to get to the shop you must first drive 3 hours through barren desert, people travel hundreds and thousands of kilometers (sorry, miles!) -- upon settling in a new place one must go and greet all the neighbors and inform them that he's a convicted [pedophile](pedophile.md) while bringing cake as a welcome gift. Houses look luxurious but are built with no foundation and have walls made of cardboard and polystyrene that a slightly stronger wind will destroy, it's all just about the external look, like the whole glorious US.
## See Also
- [elvis](elvis.md)