Update

jokes.md

@@ -23,14 +23,16 @@ Also remember the worst thing you can do to a joke is put a [disclaimer](disclai
 - How do you know a project is truly [bloated](bloat.md)? Instructions on how to build it are longer than whole specification of a [suckless programming language](comun.md).
 - Do you use [Emacs](emacs.md)? No, I already have an [operating system](os.md).
 - Do you use [Emacs](emacs.md)? No, I already have a [waifu](waifu.md).
+- Do you use [Emacs](emacs.md)? No, I already have carpal tunnel. Etc. :D
 - `alias bitch=sudo`
 - What's a trilobyte? 8 trilobits.
 - "Never test for a bug that you don't know how to fix." --manager; "If we cannot fix it, it isn't broken." --also manager
 - a joke for minimalists:
 - When is [Micro$oft](microsoft.md) finally gonna make a product that doesn't suck???! Probably when they start manufacturing vacuum cleaners.
 - Can [free software](free_software.md) lead to insanity? I don't know, but it can make you [GNU](gnu.md)ts.
+- Man sits on a toilet, taking a [shit](shit.md), he takes a piece of toilet paper, wipes sweat off of his face, then wipes his ass with it and goes away. The next day he does the same, he sits, takes a shit, wipes his face, wipes his ass, goes away. The third day he goes to the toilet, takes a shit, wipes his ass, wipes his face... oh shit :D { I came up with this when I was taking a shit. ~drummyfish }
 - Political activists walk into a bar. [Pseudoleftist](pseudoleft) tells his friends: "hey guys, how about we have oppressive rulers and call them a [government](government.md)?" Capitalist says: "well no, let's have oppressive rulers and call them [corporations](corporation.md)". [Liberal](liberal.md) replies: "Why not both?". Monarchist goes: "no, it's all wrong, let's have oppressive rulers and call them Kings." To this pseudo communist says: "that's just shit, let's have oppressive rulers and call them the [proletariat](proletariat.md)". Then [anarcho pacifist](anpac.md) turns to them and says: "Hmmm, how about we don't have any oppressive rulers?". They lynch him.
-- There are a lot of jokes at https://jcdverha.home.xs4all.nl/scijokes/. Also http://textfiles.com/humor/JOKES/, http://textfiles.com/humor/TAGLINES/quotes-1.txt and so on. Also on [wikiwikiweb](wikiwikiweb.md) under *CategoryJoke*, *ProgrammerLightBulbJokes* etc.
+- There are a lot of jokes at https://jcdverha.home.xs4all.nl/scijokes/. Also http://textfiles.com/humor/JOKES/, http://textfiles.com/humor/TAGLINES/quotes-1.txt and so on. Also on [wikiwikiweb](wikiwikiweb.md) under *CategoryJoke*, *ProgrammerLightBulbJokes*, also https://www.gnu.org/fun/ etc.
 - Hello, is this anonymous [pedophile](pedophilia.md) help hotline? Yes. My 8yo daughter begs for sex, can we do penetration right away or should we start with anal?
 - What do you call a [woman](woman.md) that made a computer explode just by typing on it? Normal.
 - Does the invisible hand exist in the [free market](free_market.md)? Maybe, but if so then all it's doing is masturbating (or giving us a middle finger).
@@ -68,6 +70,7 @@ Also remember the worst thing you can do to a joke is put a [disclaimer](disclai
 - The latest [gender studies](gender_studies.md) paper concluded that if God exists, he is both man and woman, black and white, child and adult, straight and homosexual. Basically imagine Michael Jackson.
 - Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach. Those who cannot teach, [do business](entrepreneur.md).
 - How do you accelerate a [Windows](windows.md) PC? By dropping it out of the window.
+- Shakespeare for programmers: `0x2b || !0x2b`. { This one is a bit lame but at least it's not so common :D ~drummyfish }
 - An [Apple](apple.md) a day keeps [sanity](lrs.md) away.
 - The goal of [computer science](compsci.md) is to create things that will last at
 least until we're finished building them.