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Miloslav Ciz 2024-01-30 00:32:40 +01:00
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@ -6,6 +6,8 @@ Please do NOT post lame "big-bang-theory"/[9gag](9gag.md) jokes like *sudo make
{ Many of the jokes are original, some are shamelessly pulled from other sites and reworded. I don't believe [copyright](copyright.md) can apply if the expression of a joke is different, ideas can't be copyrighted. Also the exact origins of jokes are difficult to track so it's probably a kind of folklore. ~drummyfish }
{ I would like to thank one anonymous friend who contributed to me many ideas for jokes here :D I usually modified them slightly. ~drummyfish }
- [C++](cpp.md)
- What's the worst kind of [lag](lag.md)? [Gulag](google.md).
- Ingame chat: "What's the country in the middle of north Africa?" [{BANNED}](niger.md)
@ -16,13 +18,14 @@ Please do NOT post lame "big-bang-theory"/[9gag](9gag.md) jokes like *sudo make
- How do you know a project is truly [LRS](lrs.md)? Its manifesto is longer than the program itself.
- How do you know a project is truly [bloated](bloat.md)? Instructions on how to build it are longer than whole specification of a [suckless programming language](comun.md).
- Do you use [Emacs](emacs.md)? No, I already have an [operating system](os.md).
- Do you use [Emacs](emacs.md)? No, I already have a [waifu](waifu.md).
- `alias bitch=sudo`
- What's a trilobyte? 8 trilobits.
- a joke for minimalists:
- When is [Micro$oft](microsoft.md) finally gonna make a product that doesn't suck???! Probably when they start manufacturing vacuum cleaners.
- Political activists walk into a bar. [Pseudoleftist](pseudoleft) tells his friends: "hey guys, how about we have oppressive rulers and call them a [government](government.md)?" Capitalist says: "well no, let's have oppressive rulers and call them [corporations](corporation.md)". [Liberal](liberal.md) replies: "Why not both?". Monarchist goes: "no, it's all wrong, let's have oppressive rulers and call them Kings." To this pseudo communist says: "that's just shit, let's have oppressive rulers and call them the [proletariat](proletariat.md)". Then [anarcho pacifist](anpac.md) turns to them and says: "Hmmm, how about we don't have any oppressive rulers?". They lynch him.
- There are a lot of jokes at https://jcdverha.home.xs4all.nl/scijokes/.
- Does the invisible hand exist in the [free market](free_market.md)? Maybe, but if so then all it's doing is masturbating.
- Does the invisible hand exist in the [free market](free_market.md)? Maybe, but if so then all it's doing is masturbating (or giving us a middle finger).
- 90% of statistics are fake.
- When will they remove the *[touch](touch.md)* and *[kill](kill.md)* commands from [Unix](unix.md)? Probably when they rename *[man pages](man_page.md)* to *person pages*.
- If [law](law.md) was viewed as a programming code, it would be historically the worst case of [bloated](bloat.md) [spaghetti code](spaghetti_code.md) littered with [magic constants](magic_constant.md), undefined symbols and dead code, which is additionally deployed silently and without any [testing](testing.md). Yet it's the most important algorithm of our society.
@ -32,15 +35,15 @@ Please do NOT post lame "big-bang-theory"/[9gag](9gag.md) jokes like *sudo make
- [green](greenwashing.md) [capitalism](capitalism.md) :'D my sides
- Difference between a beginner and pro programmer? Pro programmer fails in a much more sophisticated manner.
- What is a [computer](computer.md)? A device that can make a hundred million mistakes per second.
- After all it may not take so long to establish our [utopia](less_retarded_society.md). By the time [Windows](windows.md) has updated we will have already done it ten times over. { Thanks to a friend for this one :) ~drummyfish }
- After all it may not take so long to establish our [utopia](less_retarded_society.md). By the time [Windows](windows.md) has updated we will have already done it ten times over.
- Cool statistics: 9 out of 10 people enjoy a gang [rape](rape.md).
- `int randomInt(void) { int x; return x; }`
- Boss: "We're going to need to store additional information about gender of all 1600 people in our database." Me: "OK that's only 200 extra bytes.". Diversity department: "You're fired."
- the [downto](downto.md) operator
- I find it much more pleasant to browse the web on a 1 bit display, it can't display a [rainbow](lgbt.md).
- Why are [noobs](noob.md) the most pacifist beings in existence? Because they never beat anyone. { Thanks to the mysterious friends. ~drummyfish }
- There's a new version of Debian Bull's Eye that's compiled exclusively with [Rust](rust.md). Its code name is [Bull's Shit](bullshit.md). { Again credit goes to my friend <3 ~drummyfish }
- An [Apple](apple.md) a day keeps [sanity](lrs.md) away. { Thanks to the friend again :D I modified it a bit. ~drummyfish }
- Why are [noobs](noob.md) the most pacifist beings in existence? Because they never beat anyone.
- There's a new version of Debian Bull's Eye that's compiled exclusively with [Rust](rust.md). Its code name is [Bull's Shit](bullshit.md).
- An [Apple](apple.md) a day keeps [sanity](lrs.md) away.
## See Also