This commit is contained in:
Miloslav Ciz 2025-01-08 16:36:13 +01:00
parent 36021baff3
commit 9347555db9
15 changed files with 1932 additions and 1915 deletions

4
usa.md
View file

@ -58,9 +58,9 @@ In [Europe](europe.md), or maybe just anywhere else in the world, you are afraid
In 1920 the "land of freedom" banned drinking alcohol so that capitalist slaves could spend less time on fun and more time on slavery, this was known as the prohibition and led to skyrocketing of organized crime. Another pinnacle of stupidity indeed. This lasted over a decade.
OK so now that we've mentioned the important stuff we may talk on a more lighthearted note: what are the things typical of the big shiny USA (see also [stereotypes](stereotype.md))? It's the little differences. For example: driving a bicycle and throwing newspapers onto houses of other people who all have a [dog](dog.md) trained to catch and bring the newspaper in the house. Or school buses. State borders, roads and city layouts are always rectangular and perpendicular, no organic or curved shapes. Road signs and traffic lights are also all slightly wrong, for example the lines on roads are yellow instead of white, your lights are on the OPPOSITE side of the crossroad etc. Little children are required to dissect frogs in schools. In shops you will meet baggers -- people paid to put your groceries in your bag, you can't make this up. Everyone is suing everyone constantly, no divorce or even a minor traffic incident is complete without a lawsuit over horrendous sums, criminals get sentences to hundreds of years in jail plus several lifetimes on top just to make it more dramatic. Disgusting manners in eating, roasting marshmallows, drinking wine from plastic cups, putting peanut butter on everything and having all food, including bread, sweetened to the degree that would unironically be illegal in the EU, that's all very typical of the US. Also weird pseudosports and measurement units. In the US dentists don't give you anesthetics before a surgery like one would expect from a sane doctor, probably because that would be too expensive -- no, they rather give you LSD or some kinda similar shit after which you'll be literally high as a kite, you can literally find footage of people going from the dentist being drugged like a whore, this is not normal. Children are selling lemonade and cookies to random people in the streets, learning to be filthy capitalists from a very early age; garage sales are typical and very popular. There is too much over the top friendliness, emotion, anger and disagreement: everyone is very vocal about what's currently on his mind and has to signal it with exaggerated body language, happy people are hugging each other, kissing, singing and dancing, annoyed people are waving guns and flags and shouting at each other over the street, complete strangers will smile at you and talk to you. In USA no one is truly American because people came to the land just recently, so everyone is actually some kind of Euro or Asian degenerate, everyone's like "hey bro, I'm Italian Irish but I'm actually 1/17th Polish Jew". Everything is far apart in the US and people commonly travel from state to state and coast to coast, to get to the shop you must first drive 3 hours through barren desert on a completely straight road, people travel hundreds and thousands of kilometers (sorry, miles!) -- upon settling in a new place one must go and greet all the neighbors and inform them that he's a convicted [pedophile](pedophile.md) while bringing cake as a welcome gift. Nomadic life, temporary homelessness, living in a caravan or just in your car on a parking lot -- that's nothing uncommon either. Houses look luxurious but are built with no foundation and have walls made of cardboard and polystyrene that a slightly stronger wind will destroy, it's all just about the external look, like the whole glorious US.
OK so now that we've mentioned the important stuff we may talk on a more lighthearted note: what are the things typical of the big shiny USA (see also [stereotypes](stereotype.md))? **It's the little differences**. For example: driving a bicycle and throwing newspapers onto houses of other people who all have a [dog](dog.md) trained to catch and bring the newspaper in the house (stopping the bike would mean losing time and time is [money](money.md)). Or school buses. State borders, roads and city layouts are always rectangular and perpendicular, no organic or curved shapes. Road signs and traffic lights are also all slightly wrong, for example the lines on roads are yellow instead of white, your lights are on the OPPOSITE side of the crossroad etc. Little children are required to dissect frogs in schools. Toilets are always in bathroom, which Europeans find DISGUSTING. In shops you will meet baggers -- people paid to put your groceries in your bag, you can't make this up. Everyone is suing everyone constantly, no divorce or even a minor traffic incident is complete without a lawsuit over horrendous sums, that's why it's completely normal to be a billionaire for a week and then live another week as a hobo under a bridge, and extremes like this are completely normal: criminals for example get sentences to hundreds or thousands of years in jail plus several lifetimes on top just to make it more dramatic. Next are disgusting manners in eating, roasting marshmallows, drinking wine from plastic cups, putting peanut butter and jam on everything and having all food, including bread, sweetened to just short of lethal dosage, to a degree that would unironically be illegal in the EU, that's all very typical of the US (it is by the way also why gargantuously fat people are a real issue there, they must have special toilets, special seats on a plane and so on). Also weird pseudosports and illogical measurement units. In the US dentists don't give you anesthetics before a surgery like one would expect from a sane doctor, probably because that would be too expensive and not entertaining enough for the customer -- no, they rather give you LSD or some kinda similar shit after which you get high as a kite, you can literally find footage of people going from the dentist being drugged like a street whore, this is not normal. Children are selling lemonade and cookies to random people in the streets, learning to be filthy capitalists from a very early age; garage sales are typical and very popular. There is too much over the top friendliness, emotion, anger, agreement and disagreement: everyone is very vocal about what's currently on his mind and has to signal it with exaggerated body language, happy people are hugging each other, kissing, singing and dancing, annoyed people are waving guns and flags and shouting at each other over the street, traffic jams are a shitfest of car horns and people shouting and shooting guns, and then sometimes in the streets complete strangers will smile at you and talk to you for no reason. In USA no one is truly American because people came to the steal the land just recently, so everyone is actually some kind of Euro or Asian degenerate, everyone's like "hey bro, I'm Italian Irish and Portuguese from mother's side but I'm actually 1/17th Polish Jew so I'm very, VERY sensitive to discussing Holocaust". Everything is far apart in the US and people commonly travel from state to state and coast to coast just cause they feel like it, to get to the shop you must first drive 3 hours through barren desert on a completely straight road, people travel hundreds and thousands of kilometers (sorry, miles!) -- upon settling in a new place one must go and greet all the neighbors and inform them that he's a convicted [pedophile](pedophile.md) while bringing cake as a welcome gift. EVERY SINGLE house must have American flag in front -- the bigger, the better -- [fascism](fascism.md) is completely normal, people don't even see it as weird. Nomadic life, temporary homelessness, living in a caravan or just in your car on a parking lot -- that's nothing uncommon either, but a [homeless](homelessness.md) in America is much different from European hobo: in America homelessness is like catching cold, it just happens from time to time to everyone, even to a CEO or rich lawyer, but it literally only means you have no house, you just go sleep in your car instead of your home, but that's not much of an issue because you live at work anyway, so a homeless guy is still a slave, he goes to [slavery](work.md) like he would if he had house -- that is very stupid and weird. Houses in America look luxurious but it's fake as everything else, they are built with no solid foundation and have walls made of cardboard and polystyrene that a slightly stronger breeze will destroy, it's all just about the external look, like the whole glorious US.
{ I gotta say now I came to know more than one, or even two people from the US who are absolute exceptions from all the negative stuff I've just written, in fact they often leave me speechless with how fantastic and amazing they are, who absolutely make me wish I could be more like them. No words can adequately describe it -- anyway my point is your country of origin cannot stop you from being good, I rely on the basic sense of reason that no one can possibly take everything I write as an unbreakable fundamental law of nature -- I dislike pointing this out but I really hope it's pretty clear sometimes I use hyperbole, irony and similar devices to get some points across. ~drummyfish }
{ I gotta say now I came to know more than one, or even two people from the US who are absolute exceptions from all the, well, "negative stuff" I've written here, in fact they often leave me speechless with how fantastic and amazing they are, who absolutely make me wish I could be more like them. No words can adequately describe it -- anyway my point is your country of origin cannot stop you from being good, I rely on the basic sense of reason that no one can possibly take everything I write as an unbreakable fundamental law of nature -- I dislike pointing this out because it should be obvious by logic, but I really hope it's pretty clear sometimes I use hyperbole, irony and similar devices to get some points across. But then again please don't take the article as a joke, it IS absolutely serious, USA is a dystopia and hell on Earth. ~drummyfish }
## See Also