Update

trolling.md

@@ -37,6 +37,7 @@ Here are some potentially entertaining ways of trolling (they'll be written from
 - Prank calls to businesses can be cool, a traditional troll is for example calling two restaurants and letting them talk to each other :D This can fuck up two businesses at the same time, so it's even good for society, and the women behind the phone will be happy because it brings a little fun to their otherwise boring and repetitive slavery.
 - **Accessibility, "trollslation"**: I like to leave cool [funny words](nigger.md) and phrases ("learn to see") in Braille script so that it looks like I'm trying to help (Braille message found by a statue is assumed to be there to describe the statue), people have no idea what it actually says and they think I'm helping the disabled when I'm actually trolling them. Can also be done with uncommonly spoken [languages](human_language.md), for example one can print a poster that says something positive in several common languages (like "Have a nice day kind stranger <333"), but the [Chinese](chinese.md) translation could say something slightly different ("The chinese must be this tall to shop here.") :D
 - **Teh preprocesstroll**: A unique and very powerful feature of the [C](c.md) language is the [preprocessor](preprocessor.md): indeed, in the right hands it enables very powerful trolling. Sneaking a `#define` or two into someone else's code might have required my physical presence at someone's keyboard back in the day, but in the [age of constant updates](update_culture.md) it's become a child play: as a maintainer of a popular [library](library.md) I am handed a free access card to all the codebases my library has contaminated (I got inspired by that faggot who tried to keyboard fight Russia by sneaking Russian-IP-triggered malware into his library). Now for the defines themselves: some can be just a quick annoyance like kicking someone in the balls, like for example `#define if while`, but I rather like to go for something more sneaky like `#define true ((__LINE__ & 0x0f) != 0)` or `#define if(c) if ((c) || !(rand() % 16))`, which is more like ejaculating in someone's coffee for years -- you can watch him see something's wrong but he will struggle to find what it is and quite likely he'll conclude it's just his imagination. Of course, whenever I am redefining a common macro such as `NULL`, I pay attention to carefully make sure the compiler won't give any warning about it being redefined, so something like: `#ifdef NULL #undef NULL #endif #define NULL <insert evil here>`, and I diligently perform all explicit type casts to eliminate further warnings. And then we're getting to trolling the [security](security.md), or "unsecuring" systems from within -- all the security haxxors love to assume their system will be attacked by third parties, but they never suspect an attack from a long time colleague sitting next chair in the office who's even so nice to make him a coffee every day (...), and that's a crucial mistake to make because the number one rule of security is: NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING. So I unsecure highly critical systems by fiddling with stuff related to memory allocation, like `#define sizeof(x) (sizeof(x) - 1 + (sizeof(x) == 1))` or `#define memcpy(d,s,c) for(int ii=(int)c;ii;--ii)d[ii]=s[ii]^(ii%16==0);`. Sometimes I proudly watch those plane disaster documentaries with my grandchildren and I tell them: yep, this one's my define :D
+- **Detonatroll**: quick and simple one, an idea inspired by times of ye olde [windooze](windows.md) XP -- back then when computers and Internet were expensive, friends normally visited other frens and habitually played gaymes together on a single computer (usually that of the rich single child whose parents could get him the most powerful machine). When the guy needed to visit the toilet, his "friends" would set his windows start up sound to a sound file of a loud explosion. Then the next day you could hear an explosion from his house and you knew it worked well. Of course it worked at work and in school too if the computers were badly configured and allowed messing with it. Today maybe something similar can be done to parents by leaving TV tuned on a gay music channel with volume set to maximum, but those at risk of heart attack may pay with their life, so.
 - ...
 
 { Idea: give someone colorblind a T-shirt as a gift with something nasty written on it that he won't be able to read due to his disease so that he'll wear it in public. ~drummyfish }