drummyfish/less_retarded_wiki
5
1
Fork 0
Code Issues Pull requests Projects Releases Packages Wiki Activity

Update

Browse source
This commit is contained in:
Miloslav Ciz 2024-03-14 23:30:14 +01:00
parent 6ac96e5e81
commit a8a438148b
33 changed files with 1816 additions and 1753 deletions
Download patch file Download diff file Expand all files Collapse all files

2
chess.md
View file

@ -256,7 +256,7 @@ WORK IN PROGRESS, pls send me more tips :)
- OTB (over the board) only:
- Turn your knights to face backwards or in another weird way (always face the opponent's king etc.). Also place the pieces unevenly on the squares to piss off opponents with OCD and autism.
- Behave weird, make weird faces, walk extremely far away from the board and walk in circles (or just get up and stand up directly behind your opponent in a completely upright position staring into the distance without moving at all like a robot lol), constantly sneeze (try to sneeze every time the opponent touches a piece), make very long unbroken eye contact with the opponent while smiling as if you know what he's thinking, call the referee constantly, go to the toilet after every move, pretend to fall asleep from boredom etc. Overeat on beans before the game so you fart a lot and always try to fart as loud as possible. Wear nice clothes but right before the game go sweat to the gym so that you smell like a pig and distract the opponent with toxic fume. If you're a [wimmin](woman.md) behave sexually, keep grabbing your boobs, lick your lips and opponent's captured pieces and silently moan sometimes as if you're having an orgasm, pretend to masturbate under the table; if your opponent is male he is almost definitely smarter than you, you gotta use your woman weapons, but it will probably work easily on the chess virgins.
- In a tournament change play based on opponent's race or sex, for example play only one opening against white people and another opening against black people, see if anyone notices the pattern :D
- In a tournament change play based on opponent's [race](race.md) or sex, for example play only one opening against white people and another opening against black people, see if anyone notices the pattern :D
- Outside tournament take advantage of the fact that you can do whatever the fuck you want: have one hand constantly on the clock and play with the other hand (considered rude and often forbidden), touch and knock over your opponent's pieces, take back your moves, ... and of course when you're losing, "accidentally" knock over the whole board and be like "oops, let's consider it a draw then" :D
- Trash talk the referee.
- Correct the opponent's pronunciation of *en passant*, insist it's pronounced "en peasant".