Update

drummyfish.md

@@ -32,7 +32,7 @@ In 2012 drummyfish fell into deep [depression](depression.md) and became convinc
 
 **Does drummyfish have [divine intellect](terry_davis.md)?** Hell no, he's pretty retarded at most things and would be a complete failure wasn't it for some of his special features -- thanks to his extraordinary tendency for isolation, grand curiosity and obsession with [truth](truth.md) he is possibly the only man on [Earth](earth.md) completely immune to propaganda, he can see the world as it is, not as it is presented, so he feels it is his moral duty to share what he is seeing. He is able to overcome his natural dumbness by tryharding and sacrificing his social and sexual life so that he can program more. If drummyfish can learn to program [LRS](lrs.md), so can you.
 
-**What is drummyfish's fucking problem?** The biggest burden for drummyfish -- the one that he has always struggled with (even if he realized this very late in his life) and which will be with him until death -- is that he is simply extremely, extremely alone. NO, not "alone" in the [incel](incel.md) sense, and not alone in the "[geeky](geek.md)" way, not alone as in being introverted and shy or hated, missing sex or company or attention or compassion, not at all. He has been struggling his whole life to find a HUMAN, a true human being like himself -- of perhaps we should rather say human subspecies of which drummyfish is and always will be the only member. He feels much closer to animals than to people. On the Internet he found a considerable number of "followers" through [LRS](lrs.md), the expression of his life philosophy, but he never really met a being of the same human subspecies as he is himself. He is alien in a sense -- people exist around him, even what would be called "friends", supporters, "fans", but he has never met a single true human being of the same kind as himself, someone to find absolute mutual understanding with and someone to have a true admiration for. { The closest is probably my mom, only her I ever really admired and felt the closest bond with. I think no one else ever came closer to understanding me and loving me like that. This is probably nothing surprising though. ~drummyfish } A feeling perhaps similar to what the last member of a species that is dying out must feel, except that he doesn't even have any ancestors to think of, it is a feeling of being absolutely alone in the whole Universe, the whole timespace. { Also please don't try to fix me or comfort me by saying nice things like "I was like this too, you will find someone", it just pisses me off, you don't know what's going on. I know your intentions are good but don't do it cause it's no use. ~drummyfish } But the feeling of loneliness is only part of the whole tragedy -- it would even be bearable, however the worst part is that drummyfish LOOKS LIKE a normal human so others treat him so, they try to apply things that normally work on people on drummyfish, like talking to him or thanking him or keeping him in company of other people because apparently "humans are social animals" or whatever, and it's just fucking killing him. It's as if you try to treat literal fish like a human, trying to keep it out of water because humans dislike breathing water, trying to feed it human food, put it in human clothes -- you're just going to torture the animal to death.
+**What is drummyfish's fucking problem?** The biggest burden for drummyfish -- the one that he has always struggled with (even if he realized this very late in his life) and which will be with him until death -- is that he is simply extremely, extremely alone. NO, not "alone" in the [incel](incel.md) sense, and not alone in the "[geeky](geek.md)" way, not alone as in being introverted and shy or hated, missing sex or company or attention or compassion, not at all. He has been struggling his whole life to find a HUMAN, a true human being like himself -- of perhaps we should rather say human subspecies of which drummyfish is and always will be the only member. He feels much closer to animals than to people. On the Internet he found a considerable number of "followers" through [LRS](lrs.md), the expression of his life philosophy, but he never really met a being of the same human subspecies as he is himself. He is alien in a sense -- people exist around him, even what would be called "friends", supporters, "fans", but he has never met a single true human being of the same kind as himself, someone to find absolute mutual understanding with and someone to have a true admiration for. { The closest is probably my mom, only her I ever really admired and felt the closest bond with. I think no one else ever came closer to understanding me and loving me like that. This is probably nothing surprising though. ~drummyfish } A feeling perhaps similar to what the last member of a species that is dying out must feel, except that he doesn't even have any ancestors to think of, it is a feeling of being absolutely alone in the whole Universe, the whole timespace. Hell, he is so lonely he created a whole virtual world, lore, ideology and Internet community with huge ass [wiki](lrs_wiki.md) where he is still the only participant and where he basically just keeps talking to himself. { Also please don't try to fix me or comfort me by saying nice things like "I was like this too, you will find someone", it just pisses me off, you don't know what's going on. I know your intentions are good but don't do it cause it's no use. ~drummyfish } But the feeling of loneliness is only part of the whole tragedy -- it would even be bearable, however the worst part is that drummyfish LOOKS LIKE a normal human so others treat him so, they try to apply things that normally work on people on drummyfish, like talking to him or thanking him or keeping him in company of other people because apparently "humans are social animals" or whatever, and it's just fucking killing him. It's as if you try to treat literal fish like a human, trying to keep it out of water because humans dislike breathing water, trying to feed it human food, put it in human clothes -- you're just going to torture the animal to death.
 
 Drummyfish will probably [kill himself](suicide.md) one day -- likely not that soon (who knows), but it's planned, after all there is nothing worse than living under [capitalism](capitalism.md), death sounds like such a relief. There are still some [projects](needed.md) he wants to finish first; unless something triggers him and he just randomly jumps under a train one day or gets nuked by Putin, he is planning to finish some of the projects to leave something behind. The current plan is to try to live somehow, outside or on the edge of society, minimize contact with people, do good and avoid evil as much as possible. Once closest relatives are gone, then with no more ties to the current [shitty place](czechia.md), he will walk on foot towards the Mediterranean sea, a place that has always attracted him more than anywhere else, and there he will simply die either of illness, injury or hunger, or he will simply swim for the sunset and never return. That's a death one can even look forward to. There, at his beloved sea, drummyfish will meet his fate and find his final resting place and the peace he so much desired and struggled for through his whole life. Hopefully his body will feed a few hungry fish.