19 KiB
Drummyfish
"Next time you're considering offing yourself, go for it." --genuine reaction of normal people in Xonotic to drummyfish advocating people should love each other
{ My email is currently: drummyfish AT disroot DOT org. ~drummyfish }
Drummyfish (also known as tastyfish, drummy, drumy, smellyfish and i forcefeed my diarrhea to capitalism) is a programmer, anarchopacifist, heretic, wannabe generalist, ban speedrunner and proponent of free software/culture, who started this wiki and invented the kind of software it focuses on: less retarded software (LRS), as well as less retarded society. Besides others he has written Anarch, small3dlib, raycastlib, smallchesslib, tinyphysicsengine, SAF and comun (and some older but technologically shittier projects such as LibreMage, Steamer Duck etc.). He has also been creating free culture art and otherwise contributing to free projects such as OpenMW; he buys and digitizes old public domain books and has been contributing with public domain art of all kind (2D, 3D, music, ...) and writings to Wikipedia (no longer cause ban), Wikimedia Commons (also banned now), opengameart, libregamewiki, freesound and others. Drummyfish is insane/neuroretarded, suffering from anxiety/depression/etcetc. (diagnosed avoidant personality disorder, also known as minimalist's brain damage, see also psyops) and has more than once been called a schizo, though psychiatrists didn't officially diagnose him with schizophrenia (yet). He sometimes self harms, both physically and socially. All in all, psychiatrists say he is insane but in reality he is the only sane man in the world, and that is what he suffers from. Due to spreading uncensored truth, helping and loving others and revealing corruption he is banned and censored on many places on the Internet, including Wikipedia (literally just linked to personal site from personal page), Wikimedia Commons, 4chan (made a pedo joke), GitLab (hosted this wiki lol), codeberg (because "?reasons?"), watchpeopledie.tv (made a sarcastic Nazi joke or something), many subreddits, some Xonotic and Openarena servers, "Rational"Wiki { well, probably, I just vandalized it and never came back to check lol :D ~drummyfish } etc. He is also being constantly stalked by some pissed off impotent pedophobe (:D), whom he still loves by the way <3, and which drummyfish appreciates as it makes him set many ban speedrunning records and also become more self sufficient and not rely so much on the mainstream, censored platforms. Drummyfish also has no real life and is pretty retarded when it comes to leading projects or otherwise dealing with people or practical life. Drummyfish's political compass is off the charts, he once tried to take the political compass test, the computer got confused and exploded. He is also a wizard.
Drummyfish is the most physically disgusting bastard on Earth, no woman ever loved him, he is so ugly people get suicidal thoughts from seeing any part of him. He is also very stupid.
{ I've been told I'm just a fakecel whoring for attention here -- let me say I'm not faking it and I don't desire attention, attention scares me, but I feel the need to say I am repulsive -- yes, I really make women run away from me and I don't know why, on rare occasions I had some very close, almost 100% certain chances to score but it never happened, something is seriously wrong with me and my curse is that I don't know what it is so I can't even try to fix it, so trust me I'm telling the truth. Maybe it's not apparent from my photos that I'm ugly (I think when I was younger I actually looked quite OK, but everyone looks fine at a young age), maybe it's my smell, way of talking, I don't know, but they certainly hate me. ~drummyfish }
He loves all living beings, even those whose attributes he hates or who hate him. Drummyfish loves even bugs, he saves them when they're drowning and tries a lot to not even hurt spiders, flies, ants and so on, and is sad even when he has to kill a plant, so he avoids for example mowing grass. He is a vegetarian (since about 2018) and here and there supports good causes, for example he donates hair and gives money to homeless people who ask for them and sometimes cleans the Earth from plastic garbage (something he learned when he slaved as a factory cleaner). He also adopts and takes care of sick animals from the streets. He also tried to donate blood but couldn't because he's taking antidepressants.
Drummyfish has a personal website at www.tastyfish.cz, and a gopherhole at self.tastyfish.cz. He uses vim, doesn't have any favorite distro and will NEVER HAVE ONE (in fact he hates Linux and would use another kernel if it was possible).
Photos of drummyfish: young, older (after being confronted with real life) and naked.
Drummyfish experiences a lot of discrimination but still doesn't hate his discriminators. As a straight white male in 21st century drummyfish is a victim of regular discrimination and racism in form of social revenge for historical events he has nothing to do with. Drummyfish is not covid vaccinated -- for this he was sorted into the second class of citizens during the covid pandemic and experienced another form of discrimination, e.g. what today would be called a "verbal abuse", segregation and so on. He never had covid. As a Slav he comes from an ancestry of slaves, so in America he would be called a hero. Drummyfish was baptized and is NOT circumcised. He has hallux varus (foot toes weirdly spaced from the rest of the fingers) -- this makes him be able to grab things with his feet and climb trees well, like a monkey.
Drummyfish's real name is Miloslav (NOT Miroslav) Číž, he was born on 24.08.1990 and lives in Moravia, Czech Republic, Earth (he rejects the concept of a country/nationalism, the info here serves purely to specify a location). He has a tiny caravan inawoods. He is the only man on Earth who hates the country in which he happened to come out of vagina. He is a more or less straight male of the white race. He started programming at high school in Pascal, then he went on to study compsci (later focused on computer graphics) in a Brno University of Technology and got a master's degree in 2017, however he subsequently refused to find a job in the industry, partly because of his views (manifested by LRS) and partly because of mental health issues. He rather chose to stay closer to the working class and do less harmful slavery such as cleaning and physical spam distribution, and continues hacking on his programming (and other) projects in his spare time in order to be able to do it with absolute freedom.
{ Why doxx myself? Following the LRS philosophy, I believe information should be free. Censorship -- even in the name of privacy -- goes against information freedom. We should live in a society in which people are moral and don't abuse others by any means, including via availability of their private information. And in order to achieve ideal society we have to actually live it, i.e. slowly start to behave as if it was already in place. Of course, I can't tell you literally everything (such as my passwords etc.), but the more I can tell you, the closer we are to the ideal society. ~drummyfish }
He likes many things such as animals, peace, freedom, programming, math and games. Drummyfish used to be a semi-pro at Xonotic and OpenArena, had dedicated years to the them (even though he despises competitive behavior in real life) but he quit the games after Xonotic developers fucked the game up at which time he also realized the games kind of enslaved him -- he misses the games and some of the players a little bit but has in general been a bit happier not playing them. He plays piano and drums a little bit and tries to pick up new things like chess, go, crocheting or language learning. He has no sense of smell (since birth). He is around 175 cm tall, right handed and has blood type AB. According to the psychology astrology he is INTJ, and also has mild synesthesia. He got IQ measured quite high by Mensa but he think it's basically bullshit, he's pretty slow at mental calculations and quite retarded at many things. For fun drummyfish likes to stalk (online) and triangulate various people, from video clues he was able to track down for example Luke Smith and Chessbrah house.
Before becoming a kind of schizo, he used to be relatively normal, even had a girlfriend for a while -- for a long time he was a proprietary Windows normie, using Facebook and playing mainstream games like Trackmania and World of Warcraft (since vanilla, quit during WotLK, played tauren warrior named Drummy). In the university he started using GNU/Linux because it was convenient for the school work, but still mostly used Windows. Only near the end of his studies he became more interested in FOSS, after reading Richard Stallman's biography. At the beginning he promoted "open source" and used soynet platforms such as Fediverse, later on he found the suckless website and was enlightened by minimalism; he also started to see through the evils of open $ource, capitalism and other things and refused to conform, which led him to the path of becoming the aforementioned schizo.
In 2012 drummyfish fell into deep depression and became convinced he was going blind, he also got a kind of hardcore burnout and extreme exhaustion, headaches etc., he had to postpone his studies and take a year off -- since then his psychological issues became worse, it took around two years just to recover from this, however a similarly devastating breakdown came in 2015, again requiring a year off for recovery. In 2019 drummyfish has written a "manifesto" of his ideas called Non-Competitive Society that describes the political ideas of an ideal society. It is in the public domain under CC0 and available for download online and was translated to more than zero languages. Around 2020 he spent a few months in mental hospital. Since then he was forced to do various slaveries such as newspaper and spam distribution (on a bicycle), janitor/cleaner, night guard at a factory etc. Some time around 2023 he bought a tiny caravan inawoods and plans to live there, away from society. Also in 2023 he lost 30 kg thanks to a combination of diet and depression.
Drummyfish is from the alternative, good far future (one that won't happen but would happen if LRS was realized), he comes from a society several thousand to possibly millions years ahead -- if you want to talk to a man from the future, talk to drummyfish. How is it possible? Imagine you traveled back to cavemen times, times when no one knew the wheel and couldn't count beyond 10, when it was normal for people to perform ritual sacrifices of human and so on -- imagine yourself at this time, telling people "you don't have to sacrifice this guy, it's no good" or "you can use wheel to transfer these stones to save 90% of your current effort" and the cavemen being like "LMAO you schizo, that will never work, humans have to be sacrificed, society can't work without it, stop your utopia bullshit" and "LMAO wheel? What's that schizo shit? It won't work, we don't even have to try. Our top shamanism popularizator says it's BS so we believe him. Numbers beyond 10? You mean infinity? You have some demons in you, take your potions." You would literally be a man from the future in the past, and that is what drummyfish is nowadays. Drummyfish says things like "stop competition", "stop nationalism", "stop bullshit like political correctness", "adopt true minimalism", and people are like "LMAO stop that utopia bullshit pedo, competition is necessary for human organism to physically function because Neil de grass told me that on TV, take your schizo potions, minimalism will never work because it's nonintuitive and it isn't good for the economy gods".
Does drummyfish have divine intellect? Hell no, he's pretty retarded at most things and would be a complete failure wasn't it for some of his special features -- thanks to his extraordinary tendency for isolation, grand curiosity and obsession with truth he is possibly the only man on Earth completely immune to propaganda, he can see the world as it is, not as it is presented, so he feels it is his moral duty to share what he is seeing. He is able to overcome his natural dumbness by tryharding and sacrificing his social and sexual life so that he can program more. If drummyfish can learn to program LRS, so can you.
What is drummyfish's fucking problem? The biggest burden for drummyfish -- the one that he has always struggled with (even if he realized this very late in his life) and which will be with him until death -- is that he is simply extremely, extremely alone. NO, not "alone" in the incel sense, and not alone in the "geeky" way, not alone as in being introverted and shy or hated, missing sex or company or attention or compassion, not at all. He has been struggling his whole life to find a HUMAN, a true human being like himself -- of perhaps we should rather say human subspecies of which drummyfish is and always will be the only member. He feels much closer to animals than to people. On the Internet he found a considerable number of "followers" through LRS (many of them working at CIA), the expression of his life philosophy, but he never really met a being of the same human subspecies as he is himself. He is alien in a sense -- people exist around him, even what would be called "friends", supporters, "fans", but he has never met a single true human being of the same kind as himself, someone to find absolute mutual understanding with and someone to have a true admiration for. { The closest is probably my mom, only her I ever really admired and felt the closest bond with. I think no one else ever came closer to understanding me and loving me like that. This is probably nothing surprising though. ~drummyfish } A feeling perhaps similar to what the last member of a species that is dying out must feel, except that he doesn't even have any ancestors to think of, it is a feeling of being absolutely alone in the whole Universe, the whole timespace. Hell, he is so lonely he created a whole virtual world, lore, ideology and Internet community with huge ass wiki where he is still the only participant and where he basically just keeps talking to himself. { Also please don't try to fix me or comfort me by saying nice things like "I was like this too, you will find someone", it just pisses me off, you don't know what's going on. I know your intentions are good but don't do it cause it's no use. ~drummyfish } But the feeling of loneliness is only part of the whole tragedy -- it would even be bearable, however the worst part is that drummyfish LOOKS LIKE a normal human so others treat him so, they try to apply things that normally work on people on drummyfish, like talking to him or thanking him or keeping him in company of other people because apparently "humans are social animals" or whatever, and it's just fucking killing him. It's as if you try to treat literal fish like a human, trying to keep it out of water because humans dislike breathing water, trying to feed it human food, put it in human clothes -- you're just going to torture the animal to death.
Is drummyfish arrogant and egocentric? Maybe yes, he was not once told so, and he admits he is prone to being a shitty being, a disgrace to what he preaches -- yes, he sees it, regrets it and suffers from it, and it's no excuse for behaving so -- he is a bad, bad, faulty and shitty being. He is also a huge cocksucker that chases away any potential friend he could make, that's just a trait of his broken personality. Humans are weak, shitty and inevitably have evil in them, sometimes too big to overcome completely, some days you are good, other days you're too tired and the evil shows. We all carry the heavy burden of self interest, greed and egocentrism cast upon us by evolution, it's imprinted in our brains, sometimes it's too strong to not let it show. Please remember LRS argues to not glorify anyone -- partly for said reasons -- and by that drummyfish never wishes to praised or glorified, he only wishes for you to take the ideas he offers, think about them and take the good you find. Drummyfish tries to be good but inevitably he won't always succeed -- what matters are ideas, not people.
Drummyfish will probably kill himself one day -- likely not that soon (who knows), but it's planned, after all there is nothing worse than living under capitalism, death sounds like such a relief. There are still some projects he wants to finish first; unless something triggers him and he just randomly jumps under a train one day or gets nuked by Putin, he is planning to finish some of the projects to leave something behind. The current plan is to try to live somehow, outside or on the edge of society, minimize contact with people, do good and avoid evil as much as possible. Once closest relatives are gone, then with no more ties to the current shitty place, he will walk on foot towards the Mediterranean sea, a place that has always attracted him more than anywhere else, and there he will simply die either of illness, injury or hunger, or he will simply swim for the sunset and never return. That's a death one can even look forward to. There, at his beloved sea, drummyfish will meet his fate and find his final resting place and the peace he so much desired and struggled for through his whole life. Hopefully his body will feed a few hungry fish.