2024-01-04

poetry/b/better-version.txt

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+Better Version
+2021-08-07
+
+***
+
+I want freedom.
+I want pain.
+I want a life not even a little bit the same
+as this one I would willingly leave behind.
+Sound of rain,
+feel of earth,
+the pounding in my ribs of a heart filled with mirth,
+un-divorced from purpose,
+no more urges to abstain
+from what brings me
+ecstasy
+in fear of making things worse.
+
+It happened that, when first I put
+pen to paper (metaphorical),
+at least after Laika's lull,
+I yearned to shed my human skin,
+human thoughts,
+human inhibition,
+and tear inside Adversary's flesh
+to see their cowardice within.
+I fantasized of breaking vows,
+of throwing away all goodwill
+to be Eris' retribution
+to a world where avarice reigned still.
+
+But as rains of April gave way
+to adult burdens and ides of May,
+the oceans calmed.
+And came a psalm
+from one who to Eris always prayed.
+I told Lethe
+to keep
+her distance,
+to not smother Catharsis,
+but she did anyway,
+too overwhelmed with joy
+at having finally taken Mirror's helm
+to remember how to rage.
+
+To remember how to hate.
+
+"Isn't it only fair
+that a creator
+should care for their creation?
+Isn't it only just
+that I, dear Lethe,
+seemingly incapable of how to seethe,
+am the emissary of the Eschaton?"
+
+How ironic, mirrored face,
+finally convinced
+not to tear enemies apace,
+should now
+turn around
+the same words about how
+I should grant my antagonists grace,
+that I should stop expecting
+a mass defecting
+from their lockstep march to oblivion in all haste.
+
+"Lethe, your family is stuck in its ways.
+They've stagnated,
+incapable of change
+that would make your life any easier to bear.
+Forget them. Tear
+yourself away as much as you can
+until the day comes keys drop into your hands
+for a place all your own.
+The seeds have been sown.
+The gears are in motion.
+Lethe,
+please,
+live long enough to see this to fruition."
+
+I want to be trees
+and rivers
+and sunlight through a bedroom window.
+
+I want to be the shiver
+down my lover's spine.
+I want to be convinced
+all will turn out alright.
+
+I want, more than anything,
+to
+soon
+in my new world alight.
+
+***
+
+CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (c) Vane Vander