2024-01-04

poetry/d/daybreak.txt

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+daybreak
+2019-05-15
+
+***
+
+the wind and fresh air feel good on my skin
+and a strange happiness fills my heart
+as if everything will be alright
+and the world is beginning again
+
+last I sat here was at the apocalypse
+wondering if the world would ever be okay since
+and while the past few months have been a strain,
+everything will wash away in the rain
+
+Vane of three years ago, give me a sign
+because I've been feeling you smile through the chasm of time
+did you know this would happen? is this why you wrote
+that the only real future was the one that you chose?
+
+a shredded leaf sits at my feet
+a relic from a time when thoughts were replete
+and I sit here in silence, wind at my back
+and a spirit from another world at my side
+
+rain comes from snow, and puddles from ice
+and crows in the sky, and ground filled with mice
+and ants from the air, like a god's springtime scourge
+
+this is a place I might never see again
+like that basement where I met my first alien friend
+dear arboretum, from cradle to grave,
+pray to whatever god you believe in, that my soul they might save
+
+***
+
+CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (c) Vane Vander

poetry/d/deadend.txt

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+Breaking Down The Dead-End Sign
+2021-07-10
+
+***
+
+What is it with you, Lethe, and wanting things to end?
+Marriage vow, credits roll, no path past the bend?
+Everything must have a finish, every stone deemed finite,
+for what? So you can kneel down and for eternity close your eyes?
+
+Your dreamt-of solace seems nice first glance, turning yourself to stone,
+having pushed all else away, silent, sole, alone.
+No more meals or baths or chores or afternoons spent slaving at work,
+no more rhythms to be bourne, no more curses to be heard.
+
+I know it hurts to hear, Lethe, but your life does not belong to you.
+Your "merciful alternative" would silence part of me too.
+I didn't give you a shard of my soul, didn't bear the pain
+of being ripped asunder just for you to turn away.
+
+The world is too much with us, and yet not enough.
+And I chose to persist, despite the dread, for the one I love.
+The deaths, the Eyes, the deicide. And yet we endure.
+I'm staying alive for you. So, Lethe, please, return the favor.
+
+***
+
+CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (c) Vane Vander

poetry/d/driven.txt

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+Driven To Death
+2022-03-09
+
+***
+
+"What's an operating system?"
+Whether they were being serious, I could never tell,
+but the question always hung over me like death's bell.
+
+And although camp is now disbanded and dead,
+still rings in a disused hall in my head
+the words penned on whiteboard in striking red:
+
+while all other girls were so much praise shot
+about their skills, their quests, their help,
+only written for me: "I guess she smiles a lot."
+
+And when I complained that I had put in
+more effort but barely anything received,
+Mom marched me to apologize
+even though in my eyes
+I had committed no crime.
+
+Just be happy with what you've got,
+with the crumbs we've thrown your way;
+never demand the more you're due,
+just smile and bear the pain.
+
+Just smile and bear the pain
+of being a prototype, forging the way
+to brothers to be done right, to be done at all,
+listened to, heard, given right to complain,
+and you yourself cast aside
+to either be shown up or prepared to die.
+
+I've failed the test on three separate times,
+so I know for sure I can't legally drive.
+If I need to get somewhere, either I catch a ride,
+call a bus, or gather my breath
+and bike.
+But you're driving me to death.
+You're running me raw.
+Soon, I think, there'll be nothing at all.
+Will you love me then, Mother, with Cheshire smile?
+A lot of what's praised
+and naught else remains.
+
+***
+
+CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (c) Vane Vander