2024-01-04

poetry/f/female-urge.txt

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+The Female Urge To...
+2022-03-11
+
+***
+
+If I was the one most despised,
+then why
+was I
+the one that survived?
+
+Why did my siblings deign,
+seeing death was imminent
+and Chronos would get his way
+to remake the world in his image,
+decide
+that the one who also destroys
+and has never for a single moment known love
+be the one who the divine
+genocide
+survived?
+
+Which one of my siblings looked at me and thought
+that what the infant world needed was destruction's favorite god?
+Who spun their ceasing gaze
+towards my way
+and blessed me human so I Chronos forgot?
+
+It's a gaze I've come
+to become
+familiar with,
+this insistence
+that I'm not a burden,
+that I'm not by presence hurting,
+that to keep breathing I don't have to earn.
+
+But no matter how many times I fish for my mother's pity,
+I can't bring myself to, when her mouth makes the sound
+that I'm a blessing to all those around,
+her strained declaration believe.
+
+"But if you knew
+all that I've put people through,
+would you
+still feel the same?"
+
+Sharpened by heartache,
+tempered by pain,
+forged in despair,
+I, bond-breaking blade?
+
+*Whatever you did is dead and gone
+and in so many worlds away.
+There are enough armchair Christs.
+Stop self-inflicting pain.*
+
+***
+
+CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (c) Vane Vander