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2024-06-07
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index.mu
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index.mu
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@ -13,9 +13,11 @@ Not 100% of the content is here yet. See https://mayvaneday.org if something is
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>> Books
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>>> Poetry
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`F908`_`[The Eschaton Eminence`:/file/books/tee.epub]`_`f
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`F908`_`[The World Is Not Enough`:/file/books/twine.epub]`_`f
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`F908`_`[Three Years In Absentia`:/file/books/tyia.epub]`_`f
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`F908`_`[The Eschaton Eminence (2023)`:/file/books/tee.epub]`_`f
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`F908`_`[The World Is Not Enough (2023)`:/file/books/twine.epub]`_`f
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`F908`_`[Three Years In Absentia (2022)`:/file/books/tyia.epub]`_`f
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`F908`_`[Mori's Mirror and The Adoration Corporation (2022)`:/file/books/mm_tac.epub]`_`f
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(If the above files fail to save at the very end of the request, your client may be broken! Try my fork below for a fix!)
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>> Dead End Shrine Online
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@ -3,27 +3,27 @@
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>> I run this
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`F908`_`[MayVaneDay - Perthro`49fc062768ec9ce76bffdc7ff5c97bd6:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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>> 2024-W23
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>> 2024-W24
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`F908`_`[Node Blue`f899a9d42571b640a399a8c371d2e0e3:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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`F908`_`[Unsigned`ec58b0e430cd9628907383954feea068:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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`F908`_`[V0LT Node`e412f02e798e7af751840f26cdac3206:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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`F908`_`[nomadForum Public Beta`428118bf70e715a89331ea928b250c05:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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`F908`_`[SparkN0de`b407b32b576d55b31c73380518537ac0:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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`F908`_`[SparkN0de-ext1`42464efb1d4fe2615c1016e24c3a7c86:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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`F908`_`[SherbyNode`3e05f77a9f0dbfc124f230862153c9f9:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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`F908`_`[RotatedNode`11796bb40d515104e7e7d9f37757869e:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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`F908`_`[SwissLibertarian`af959c4c4069fb62b91e9e9ee3451518:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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`F908`_`[The Outpost`84595b37a4225a27a7b6476099b79b91:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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`F908`_`[SHTF`74ec9ae6a7492d5fb886c0087635d6e0:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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`F908`_`[suah`3b5bc6888356193f1ac1bfb716c1beef:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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`F908`_`[TrollyIsNotDead`9c06ead4028b142186aa74415b3c2928:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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`F908`_`[S0LAR|N0DE`24878ea1f8b5b9f89c7a55789d38993b:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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`F908`_`[Interloper -- intr.cx`850433377b51ce9a9e52d760780baa97:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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`F908`_`[ReZero_NN`a7b3eed8b84ee72fb7cf36c05787b924:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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>> 2024-W22
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`F908`_`[NiceBoatNode`a693d2b5183f4125a934015afe87970c:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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>> 2024-W23
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`F908`_`[SparkN0de-ext1`42464efb1d4fe2615c1016e24c3a7c86:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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`F908`_`[SherbyNode`3e05f77a9f0dbfc124f230862153c9f9:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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`F908`_`[S0LAR|N0DE`24878ea1f8b5b9f89c7a55789d38993b:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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>> 2024-W18
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`F908`_`[HYPOGEA`81c987e99b3cf649c3957942355085ba:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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`F908`_`[ATYHnet`f1479204acdc5b34b6ea3f3c122d7b82:/page/index.mu]`_`f
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161
poetry/f/from_fiction.txt
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161
poetry/f/from_fiction.txt
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@ -0,0 +1,161 @@
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From Fiction
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2024-06-04
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***
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Fictionkin: the
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identity
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that you can at least partially
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trace your roots, your origin,
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to a piece of fiction.
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Whether
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as a character
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or a place or general vibe,
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you were born
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in foreign clime
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(or maybe here but other time)
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with story that takes place elsewhere.
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For some, the explanation
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of how this came to be
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is spiritual: reincarnation,
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or a split soul, separating
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twins, or some other convoluted
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explanation
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that I haven't
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the words to account for.
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For others, the origin
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of this phenomenon is
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psychological;
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the brain
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is great
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at contorting itself
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into maddened shapes
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for the sake
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of survival,
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and sometimes this means
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self-convincing
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that the person on the screen
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or described in novel's prose
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is the truest
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expression
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of the observer that one knows.
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Having known
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the mania of both,
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I must record the following observations.
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Please do not think me
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some hateful entity
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worth of being
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erased from posterity
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or harassed into silence:
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these are not an outsider's
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uninformed jabs meant to hurt;
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all that I am about
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to recount
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is from my own experience.
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One of the biggest signifiers
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of if a kin
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is legitimate
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is the presence of memories
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that cannot be explained by prior
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knowledge of the source material.
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B-plots discarded; other characters
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that would have made logical sense
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to paper over a plot hole
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but were erased, sometimes with remnants
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like a stray clip of audio
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or a model left untextured;
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an explanation of what came before;
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knowing what happens after fall the credits.
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Secondarily,
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even without exact memories,
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a sense of familiarity
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with the story's setting.
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Like how, even though
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I moved out of Forever Home
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almost a solid decade ago
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and of the changes made since I will never know,
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when the plot of my dreams call for a dwelling
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that floor plan is the first to volunteer.
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There is a man I'll call Anchorite
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(although you can most likely guess
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his true name if you're reading this
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at the end of May's hiatus)
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and for a solid two weeks he was *me*, he was *my* life.
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I hued my nails, I bought hair dye,
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I even tried to exorcise
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the belly fat
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that sought to pad
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my organs from the world outside.
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But through all this, though I could point
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to a thousand different things
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we held in common, what I always lacked
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were his memories.
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Can an individual form an identity
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when removed from their surroundings
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and of their memories made bereft?
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You know, we bonded through a game
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that asks that question in great depth,
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and the conclusion that I drew
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is that, when all traits
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have been drained,
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all that remains
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is the costume.
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All that, after all, I have is
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an image frozen, static.
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Unless the damned character dies,
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I get no closure,
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no knowledge
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of how
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played out
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the rest of their life.
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Just a snapshot of how they were.
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They stay the same
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in narrative loop
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allowing me to change.
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I wonder
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how others
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handle
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sequels.
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If having remembered, under assumption
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that what we held canon
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was all we ever would,
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the remainder of a life untransmitted.
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To chain one's deepest sense of self
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to the whims of a corporation.
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If the universe is infinite,
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I suppose that'd leave room to interpret
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canon in a different
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way.
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I should know, as Lethe Beltane.
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What I have as Lethe
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that I never had as Anchorite
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or any other
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characters
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whose "brainworms" wrapped me tight
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is that sense of continuity,
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the feeling
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that the story
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is happening *now*
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and not something I need to measure myself against: found
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wanting
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in every category,
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as yet the world's worst cosplay.
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There is no "out-of-character":
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who I am is me, is her.
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No fear of discontinuity.
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I am my own future.
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***
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CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (c) Vane Vander
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@ -60,6 +60,7 @@
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`F908`_`[Flickering Out`:/page/poetry/f/flickering.txt]`_`f
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`F908`_`[forgesitaj memoroj`:/page/poetry/f/forgesitaj-memoroj.txt]`_`f
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`F908`_`[forgive me, Marcel`:/page/poetry/f/forgive-me-marcel.txt]`_`f
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`F908`_`[From Fiction`:/page/poetry/f/from_fiction.txt]`_`f
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>> G
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`F908`_`[a garden in the corner of a gym`:/page/poetry/g/garden-gym.txt]`_`f
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