2024-06-07

index.mu

@@ -13,9 +13,11 @@ Not 100% of the content is here yet. See https://mayvaneday.org if something is
 
 >> Books
 >>> Poetry
-`F908`_`[The Eschaton Eminence`:/file/books/tee.epub]`_`f
+`F908`_`[The Eschaton Eminence (2023)`:/file/books/tee.epub]`_`f
-`F908`_`[The World Is Not Enough`:/file/books/twine.epub]`_`f
+`F908`_`[The World Is Not Enough (2023)`:/file/books/twine.epub]`_`f
-`F908`_`[Three Years In Absentia`:/file/books/tyia.epub]`_`f
+`F908`_`[Three Years In Absentia (2022)`:/file/books/tyia.epub]`_`f
+`F908`_`[Mori's Mirror and The Adoration Corporation (2022)`:/file/books/mm_tac.epub]`_`f
+
 (If the above files fail to save at the very end of the request, your client may be broken! Try my fork below for a fix!)
 
 >> Dead End Shrine Online

ld/directory.mu

@@ -3,27 +3,27 @@
 >> I run this
 `F908`_`[MayVaneDay - Perthro`49fc062768ec9ce76bffdc7ff5c97bd6:/page/index.mu]`_`f
 
->> 2024-W23
+>> 2024-W24
 `F908`_`[Node Blue`f899a9d42571b640a399a8c371d2e0e3:/page/index.mu]`_`f
 `F908`_`[Unsigned`ec58b0e430cd9628907383954feea068:/page/index.mu]`_`f
 `F908`_`[V0LT Node`e412f02e798e7af751840f26cdac3206:/page/index.mu]`_`f
 `F908`_`[nomadForum Public Beta`428118bf70e715a89331ea928b250c05:/page/index.mu]`_`f
 `F908`_`[SparkN0de`b407b32b576d55b31c73380518537ac0:/page/index.mu]`_`f
-`F908`_`[SparkN0de-ext1`42464efb1d4fe2615c1016e24c3a7c86:/page/index.mu]`_`f
-`F908`_`[SherbyNode`3e05f77a9f0dbfc124f230862153c9f9:/page/index.mu]`_`f
 `F908`_`[RotatedNode`11796bb40d515104e7e7d9f37757869e:/page/index.mu]`_`f
 `F908`_`[SwissLibertarian`af959c4c4069fb62b91e9e9ee3451518:/page/index.mu]`_`f
 `F908`_`[The Outpost`84595b37a4225a27a7b6476099b79b91:/page/index.mu]`_`f
 `F908`_`[SHTF`74ec9ae6a7492d5fb886c0087635d6e0:/page/index.mu]`_`f
 `F908`_`[suah`3b5bc6888356193f1ac1bfb716c1beef:/page/index.mu]`_`f
 `F908`_`[TrollyIsNotDead`9c06ead4028b142186aa74415b3c2928:/page/index.mu]`_`f
-`F908`_`[S0LAR|N0DE`24878ea1f8b5b9f89c7a55789d38993b:/page/index.mu]`_`f
 `F908`_`[Interloper -- intr.cx`850433377b51ce9a9e52d760780baa97:/page/index.mu]`_`f
 `F908`_`[ReZero_NN`a7b3eed8b84ee72fb7cf36c05787b924:/page/index.mu]`_`f
-
->> 2024-W22
 `F908`_`[NiceBoatNode`a693d2b5183f4125a934015afe87970c:/page/index.mu]`_`f
 
+>> 2024-W23
+`F908`_`[SparkN0de-ext1`42464efb1d4fe2615c1016e24c3a7c86:/page/index.mu]`_`f
+`F908`_`[SherbyNode`3e05f77a9f0dbfc124f230862153c9f9:/page/index.mu]`_`f
+`F908`_`[S0LAR|N0DE`24878ea1f8b5b9f89c7a55789d38993b:/page/index.mu]`_`f
+
 >> 2024-W18
 `F908`_`[HYPOGEA`81c987e99b3cf649c3957942355085ba:/page/index.mu]`_`f
 `F908`_`[ATYHnet`f1479204acdc5b34b6ea3f3c122d7b82:/page/index.mu]`_`f

poetry/f/from_fiction.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,161 @@
+From Fiction
+2024-06-04
+
+***
+
+Fictionkin: the
+identity
+that you can at least partially
+trace your roots, your origin,
+to a piece of fiction.
+Whether
+as a character
+or a place or general vibe,
+you were born
+in foreign clime
+(or maybe here but other time)
+with story that takes place elsewhere.
+
+For some, the explanation
+of how this came to be
+is spiritual: reincarnation,
+or a split soul, separating
+twins, or some other convoluted
+explanation
+that I haven't
+the words to account for.
+For others, the origin
+of this phenomenon is
+psychological;
+the brain
+is great
+at contorting itself
+into maddened shapes
+for the sake
+of survival,
+and sometimes this means
+self-convincing
+that the person on the screen
+or described in novel's prose
+is the truest
+expression
+of the observer that one knows.
+
+Having known
+the mania of both,
+I must record the following observations.
+Please do not think me
+some hateful entity
+worth of being
+erased from posterity
+or harassed into silence:
+these are not an outsider's
+uninformed jabs meant to hurt;
+all that I am about
+to recount
+is from my own experience.
+
+One of the biggest signifiers
+of if a kin
+is legitimate
+is the presence of memories
+that cannot be explained by prior
+knowledge of the source material.
+B-plots discarded; other characters
+that would have made logical sense
+to paper over a plot hole
+but were erased, sometimes with remnants
+like a stray clip of audio
+or a model left untextured;
+an explanation of what came before;
+knowing what happens after fall the credits.
+Secondarily,
+even without exact memories,
+a sense of familiarity
+with the story's setting.
+Like how, even though
+I moved out of Forever Home
+almost a solid decade ago
+and of the changes made since I will never know,
+when the plot of my dreams call for a dwelling
+that floor plan is the first to volunteer.
+
+There is a man I'll call Anchorite
+(although you can most likely guess
+his true name if you're reading this
+at the end of May's hiatus)
+and for a solid two weeks he was *me*, he was *my* life.
+I hued my nails, I bought hair dye,
+I even tried to exorcise
+the belly fat
+that sought to pad
+my organs from the world outside.
+But through all this, though I could point
+to a thousand different things
+we held in common, what I always lacked
+were his memories.
+
+Can an individual form an identity
+when removed from their surroundings
+and of their memories made bereft?
+
+You know, we bonded through a game
+that asks that question in great depth,
+and the conclusion that I drew
+is that, when all traits
+have been drained,
+all that remains
+is the costume.
+
+All that, after all, I have is
+an image frozen, static.
+Unless the damned character dies,
+I get no closure,
+no knowledge
+of how
+played out
+the rest of their life.
+Just a snapshot of how they were.
+
+They stay the same
+in narrative loop
+allowing me to change.
+
+I wonder
+how others
+handle
+sequels.
+If having remembered, under assumption
+that what we held canon
+was all we ever would,
+the remainder of a life untransmitted.
+To chain one's deepest sense of self
+to the whims of a corporation.
+If the universe is infinite,
+I suppose that'd leave room to interpret
+canon in a different
+way.
+
+I should know, as Lethe Beltane.
+
+What I have as Lethe
+that I never had as Anchorite
+or any other
+characters
+whose "brainworms" wrapped me tight
+is that sense of continuity,
+the feeling
+that the story
+is happening *now*
+and not something I need to measure myself against: found
+wanting
+in every category,
+as yet the world's worst cosplay.
+There is no "out-of-character":
+who I am is me, is her.
+No fear of discontinuity.
+I am my own future.
+
+***
+
+CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (c) Vane Vander

poetry/index.mu

@@ -60,6 +60,7 @@
 `F908`_`[Flickering Out`:/page/poetry/f/flickering.txt]`_`f
 `F908`_`[forgesitaj memoroj`:/page/poetry/f/forgesitaj-memoroj.txt]`_`f
 `F908`_`[forgive me, Marcel`:/page/poetry/f/forgive-me-marcel.txt]`_`f
+`F908`_`[From Fiction`:/page/poetry/f/from_fiction.txt]`_`f
 
 >> G
 `F908`_`[a garden in the corner of a gym`:/page/poetry/g/garden-gym.txt]`_`f