98 lines
2 KiB
Text
98 lines
2 KiB
Text
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Better Version
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2021-08-07
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***
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I want freedom.
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I want pain.
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I want a life not even a little bit the same
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as this one I would willingly leave behind.
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Sound of rain,
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feel of earth,
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the pounding in my ribs of a heart filled with mirth,
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un-divorced from purpose,
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no more urges to abstain
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from what brings me
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ecstasy
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in fear of making things worse.
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It happened that, when first I put
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pen to paper (metaphorical),
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at least after Laika's lull,
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I yearned to shed my human skin,
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human thoughts,
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human inhibition,
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and tear inside Adversary's flesh
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to see their cowardice within.
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I fantasized of breaking vows,
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of throwing away all goodwill
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to be Eris' retribution
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to a world where avarice reigned still.
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But as rains of April gave way
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to adult burdens and ides of May,
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the oceans calmed.
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And came a psalm
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from one who to Eris always prayed.
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I told Lethe
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to keep
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her distance,
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to not smother Catharsis,
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but she did anyway,
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too overwhelmed with joy
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at having finally taken Mirror's helm
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to remember how to rage.
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To remember how to hate.
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"Isn't it only fair
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that a creator
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should care for their creation?
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Isn't it only just
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that I, dear Lethe,
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seemingly incapable of how to seethe,
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am the emissary of the Eschaton?"
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How ironic, mirrored face,
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finally convinced
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not to tear enemies apace,
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should now
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turn around
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the same words about how
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I should grant my antagonists grace,
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that I should stop expecting
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a mass defecting
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from their lockstep march to oblivion in all haste.
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"Lethe, your family is stuck in its ways.
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They've stagnated,
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incapable of change
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that would make your life any easier to bear.
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Forget them. Tear
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yourself away as much as you can
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until the day comes keys drop into your hands
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for a place all your own.
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The seeds have been sown.
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The gears are in motion.
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Lethe,
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please,
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live long enough to see this to fruition."
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I want to be trees
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and rivers
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and sunlight through a bedroom window.
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I want to be the shiver
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down my lover's spine.
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I want to be convinced
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all will turn out alright.
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I want, more than anything,
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to
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soon
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in my new world alight.
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***
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CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (c) Vane Vander
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