New poem: Under My Fingernails

feed.ass

@@ -1,5 +1,6 @@
 # MayVaneDay ASS (https://tilde.town/~dzwdz/ass/) feed
 
+2022-05-25	https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/u/under-my-fingernails.txt	Under My Fingernails
 2022-05-24	https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/g/gradation.txt	Gradation
 2022-05-21	https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/g/grey.txt	The Grey
 2022-05-20	https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/c/cultivator.txt	Cultivator

feed.xml

@@ -9,6 +9,54 @@
 		<name>Vane Vander</name>
 		<email>vanevander@mayvaneday.org</email>
 	</author>
+	<entry>
+		<title>Under My Fingernails</title>
+		<link href="https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/u/under-my-fingernails.txt" />
+		<id>https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/u/under-my-fingernails.txt</id>
+		<published>2022-05-25</published>
+		<summary type="html"><![CDATA[<article>
+<pre>
+One can't raise a caricature of a human being
+and then draw that same self livid
+when everything their child sees
+is out of proportion.
+
+Turn again the ragged page,
+but cover your eyes so you don't see
+the crude pencil-filled sketchings
+of my genus, my culled genious,
+blueprints of my taxidermy,
+footnotes of a contract forever ago signed:
+"You promise me that you'll be mine
+for as long as I can keep you alive."
+
+A blood oath
+that we both
+signed
+with the rivers through which flow our lives.
+But I got too much under my fingernails,
+double-crossed in reflex, same unleashing hell
+in a moment I made the mistake of asking if all was well.
+And when I noticed what I had done,
+I turned back the hands of time
+to when you and I
+were still alive.
+A memory is just a record, one that I can rewrite
+in case of failure, in case hard enough I did not try.
+
+You only know of this because this deep-
+sworn vow I am unable to keep,
+to keep to myself the number of rewinds.
+I am testing, and you are production,
+only knowing of the strand of fate accepted,
+battle-tested,
+deemed sacred and happy and true.
+Is it comforting, I wonder, to know
+there will be no futures where I hurt you?
+</pre>
+		</article>]]>
+                </summary>
+        </entry>
 
 	<entry>
 		<title>Gradation</title>
@@ -211,18 +259,4 @@ Deny me Velouria's embrace one last time?
 		</summary>
 	</entry>
 
-	<entry>
-		<title>There's no such thing as a TERF</title>
-		<link href="https://mayvaneday.org/blog/2022/may/terf.html" />
-		<id>https://mayvaneday.org/blog/2022/may/terf.html</id>
-		<published>2022-05-18</published>
-		<summary type="html"><![CDATA[<article>
-				<p>(Before you grab your pitchforks and your OSINT tools and decide to doxx me, please understand that I am not a "radical feminist". I simply do not fit one hundred percent of the ideology's stances, including their insistence on misusing the word "individualism", and I don't like the concept of <a href="https://mayvaneday.org/blog/2020/april/vow.html">adhering my beliefs to any label</a>. However, as my main concern is fighting for my own liberation, and I am a female... I find <a href="https://mayvaneday.org/blog/2022/january/vow2.html">our interests almost always align</a>.)</p>
-				<p>There's no such thing as a TERF- a "trans-exclusionary radical feminist"- because it's a contradictory term.</p>
-				<p>A woman is an adult human female. You may disagree, but we are talking about what radfems believe. No amount of hormone replacement therapy or mastectomies or the medical horror that is a phallophasty (seriously, who thought a skin sausage sewed to a crotch, on the highway to necrosis, would in any way resemble a healthy penis?) will change a female, trans-identifying or not, into a male. Science as it stands today cannot rewrite a female's XX chromosomes into XY, and vice versa with males. The removal of a female reproductive organ, such as the uterus, does not negate one's femaleness as the absence of a uterus has severe consequences for the female body: <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20220518013319/https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00192-014-2490-y">potential pelvic organ prolapse</a>, <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20220518013329/https://www.futuremedicine.com/doi/10.2217/ahe.13.7#:~:text=Adverse%20long-term%20outcomes%20of,fistula%20and%20renal%20cell%20carcinoma.">urinary and bowel incontinence</a>, <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20220518013506/https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20689282/">early-onset dementia</a>... Males simply do not have these problems as a result of a hysterectomy because they do not have uteri in the first place and their bodies <em>aren't supposed to</em>.</p>
-				<p>A transman is an adult (or will be soon), and a human (I would say "humanoid", but you and I are currently stuck in the <a href="https://mayvaneday.org/blog/2020/april/outside-intro.html">Inside</a>), and a female. Therefore a transman fits the radfem definition of a woman. However, a "transwoman" is not a woman because they fail the last criteria for being a woman: being female. As radical feminism is concerned with the liberation of <em>all</em> women, and transmen are women, therefore transmen are included in radical feminism. Either it is trans-inclusionary in this manner, or it is not for all women and thus not radical feminism.</p>
-				</article>]]>
-		</summary>
-	</entry>
-
 </feed>

poetry/index.gmi

@@ -154,6 +154,7 @@
 => t/two-two.txt	Two Two
 
 ## U
+=> u/under-my-fingernails.txt	Under My Fingernails
 => u/uncharming.txt	uncharming veneer
 
 ## V

poetry/index.gph

@@ -156,6 +156,7 @@ iT
 0Two Two	t/two-two.txt
 
 iU	
+0Under My Fingernails	u/under-my-fingernails.txt
 0uncharming veneer	u/uncharming.txt
 
 iV	

poetry/index.html

@@ -74,6 +74,7 @@
 	├── <a href="./g/">g</a><br>
 	│   ├── <a href="./g/garden-gym.txt">garden-gym.txt</a><br>
 	│   ├── <a href="./g/gemini.txt">gemini.txt</a><br>
+	│   ├── <a href="./g/gradation.txt">gradation.txt</a><br>
 	│   ├── <a href="./g/green.txt">green.txt</a><br>
 	│   ├── <a href="./g/grey.txt">grey.txt</a><br>
 	│   └── <a href="./g/the-golden-cage.txt">the-golden-cage.txt</a><br>
@@ -169,7 +170,8 @@
 	│   ├── <a href="./t/twenty-one.txt">twenty-one.txt</a><br>
 	│   └── <a href="./t/two-two.txt">two-two.txt</a><br>
 	├── <a href="./u/">u</a><br>
-	│   └── <a href="./u/uncharming.txt">uncharming.txt</a><br>
+	│   ├── <a href="./u/uncharming.txt">uncharming.txt</a><br>
+	│   └── <a href="./u/under-my-fingernails.txt">under-my-fingernails.txt</a><br>
 	├── <a href="./v/">v</a><br>
 	│   ├── <a href="./v/viaje.txt">viaje.txt</a><br>
 	│   └── <a href="./v/victor.txt">victor.txt</a><br>
@@ -183,7 +185,7 @@
 	</p>
 	<p>
 
-22 directories, 128 files
+22 directories, 130 files
 	<br><br>
 	</p>
 	<hr>

poetry/u/under-my-fingernails.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,46 @@
+Under My Fingernails
+2022-05-25
+
+***
+
+One can't raise a caricature of a human being
+and then draw that same self livid
+when everything their child sees
+is out of proportion.
+
+Turn again the ragged page,
+but cover your eyes so you don't see
+the crude pencil-filled sketchings
+of my genus, my culled genious,
+blueprints of my taxidermy,
+footnotes of a contract forever ago signed:
+"You promise me that you'll be mine
+for as long as I can keep you alive."
+
+A blood oath
+that we both
+signed
+with the rivers through which flow our lives.
+But I got too much under my fingernails,
+double-crossed in reflex, same unleashing hell
+in a moment I made the mistake of asking if all was well.
+And when I noticed what I had done,
+I turned back the hands of time
+to when you and I
+were still alive.
+A memory is just a record, one that I can rewrite
+in case of failure, in case hard enough I did not try.
+
+You only know of this because this deep-
+sworn vow I am unable to keep,
+to keep to myself the number of rewinds.
+I am testing, and you are production,
+only knowing of the strand of fate accepted,
+battle-tested,
+deemed sacred and happy and true.
+Is it comforting, I wonder, to know
+there will be no futures where I hurt you?
+
+***
+
+CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (c) Vane Vander