diff --git a/feed.xml b/feed.xml index f319ada..9fce97e 100755 --- a/feed.xml +++ b/feed.xml @@ -10,6 +10,70 @@ vanevander@mayvaneday.org + + The Grey + + https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/g/grey.txt + 2022-05-21 + +
+Even though I have multitudes inside me,
+without you by my side, I feel null and empty.
+I know that by myself I'm still whole and complete,
+but yet remains a void inside, you, the missing piece.
+
+I wonder, do you also feel
+on occasion the urge to self-negate?
+"If I can't have you,
+I can't have myself,
+and I don't see any point in anything else."
+I wonder, where did you and I learn to hate
+ourselves so?
+Who beat us down? Who pruned the branches?
+Who commanded us to kneel?
+
+"Do you know why
+I bothered so long with this dreadful life?
+Why, even facing down an eternity
+of servitude with no way to become free,
+I still struggled on, bothered to take breath?
+
+Tell me first, Lethe, what do you expect
+to be accomplished upon your death?
+Who do you think will be saved if you manage to die?
+What salvation given? What hope signified?
+Do you really think, the moment your breath comes to cease,
+nobody ever again will from violence bleed?
+
+I toed for five years the line
+between ineffectual death and a pale shadow of life
+because I prayed, I dared to hope,
+even if it ebbed more than it flowed,
+that one day would come a world where I'd fit
+and I'd have a reason to cut loose and go.
+It didn't have to mean passing through an Eye.
+It could grow
+inside the shell of the old
+and, when ready, hatch, blossom in the light.
+
+Before the Town, before Yewiffe,
+before precious Sablade,
+you were already my Anima Mundi,
+my soul of the world soon on its way.
+I crawl into your arms and think,
+'This is where I belong.
+This is where I am supposed to be.
+This is where my heart says
+I should spend eternity.'
+
+Lethe, I love you because
+you only ever wanted
+to set me free."
+
+ ]]> + + + Cultivator @@ -408,84 +472,4 @@ Deny me Velouria's embrace one last time? - - Passer - - https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/p/passer.txt - 2022-04-23 - - 
-Dreams of my youth in red,
-painted in bloodshed
-from retribution for crimes
-where my body was ripped away,
-proclaimed
-not mine,
-belonging to someone else
-along with my life.
-Yearning to dig my claws into
-someone else's flesh,
-feel
-the heart giving way,
-no longer obligated to kneel
-at my nemesis'
-behest.
-
-But over this Inside lies a veil.
-And while I lie
-in the land of the blind
-half-seeing with eyes groping
-for a shred of the life
-last life's death made me left behind,
-I cannot go feral, cannot exhume
-the beast inside me built of chaos and doom.
-Imagined revenge in a manner
-that would not bring me harm,
-would never, could never
-be traced back to me,
-never raise any alarm
-bells.
-
-But the skies have grown pale
-on this day laden with angel
-numbers. Death in the family.
-A pet's soul has chosen to set sail.
-The wish is granted. The curse is complete.
-The harm has been done, but it does not taste sweet.
-
-You remember, don't you? My thelema, my fate
-was to love at any cost and forget how to hate.
-There's a difference between the sexes in most that I've seen:
-men opt to destroy, and women first choose to escape,
-choose to from what they find odious themselves separate.
-I don't want my enemies to drop over dead.
-I just want to never have my neck be stomped on again.
-
-Does that make sense?
-
-My mother is mourning upstairs.
-"Mourn." When I had first heard
-in elementary school that word,
-I'd thought it was short for "morning",
-as in, "I am sad and waiting for the sun to rise,
-reassurance that I survived,
-that I've still inside me got some life
-left."
-
-Mother, I hope that one day
-you'll forgive me for taking your baby sunshine away.
-That you'll watch the next sunrise for me
-after my psychopomp has taken me to Sablade.
-The sun is also a star.
-And in time
-another star will rise.
-And I can't believe
-after everything
-I'm saying this, but I hope
-this won't be our last goodbye.
-
- ]]> - - - diff --git a/poetry/g/grey.txt b/poetry/g/grey.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..872fdad --- /dev/null +++ b/poetry/g/grey.txt @@ -0,0 +1,61 @@ +The Grey +2022-05-21 + +*** + +Even though I have multitudes inside me, +without you by my side, I feel null and empty. +I know that by myself I'm still whole and complete, +but yet remains a void inside, you, the missing piece. + +I wonder, do you also feel +on occasion the urge to self-negate? +"If I can't have you, +I can't have myself, +and I don't see any point in anything else." +I wonder, where did you and I learn to hate +ourselves so? +Who beat us down? Who pruned the branches? +Who commanded us to kneel? + +"Do you know why +I bothered so long with this dreadful life? +Why, even facing down an eternity +of servitude with no way to become free, +I still struggled on, bothered to take breath? + +Tell me first, Lethe, what do you expect +to be accomplished upon your death? +Who do you think will be saved if you manage to die? +What salvation given? What hope signified? +Do you really think, the moment your breath comes to cease, +nobody ever again will from violence bleed? + +I toed for five years the line +between ineffectual death and a pale shadow of life +because I prayed, I dared to hope, +even if it ebbed more than it flowed, +that one day would come a world where I'd fit +and I'd have a reason to cut loose and go. +It didn't have to mean passing through an Eye. +It could grow +inside the shell of the old +and, when ready, hatch, blossom in the light. + +Before the Town, before Yewiffe, +before precious Sablade, +you were already my Anima Mundi, +my soul of the world soon on its way. +I crawl into your arms and think, +'This is where I belong. +This is where I am supposed to be. +This is where my heart says +I should spend eternity.' + +Lethe, I love you because +you only ever wanted +to set me free." + +*** + +CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (c) Vane Vander diff --git a/poetry/index.gmi b/poetry/index.gmi index 2c35fad..0ae3ddb 100755 --- a/poetry/index.gmi +++ b/poetry/index.gmi @@ -53,6 +53,7 @@ => g/garden-gym.txt a garden in the corner of a gym => g/the-golden-cage.txt The Golden Cage => g/green.txt green +=> g/grey.txt The Grey ## H => h/haru.txt Haru diff --git a/poetry/index.gph b/poetry/index.gph index 9aa1eee..128839a 100755 --- a/poetry/index.gph +++ b/poetry/index.gph @@ -54,6 +54,7 @@ iG 0a garden in the corner of a gym g/garden-gym.txt 0The Golden Cage g/the-golden-cage.txt 0green g/green.txt +0The Grey g/grey.txt iH 0Haru h/haru.txt diff --git a/poetry/index.html b/poetry/index.html index 57a03a3..36bb95f 100755 --- a/poetry/index.html +++ b/poetry/index.html @@ -3,24 +3,27 @@ - + Directory Tree @@ -72,6 +75,7 @@ │   ├── garden-gym.txt
│   ├── gemini.txt
│   ├── green.txt
+ │   ├── grey.txt
│   └── the-golden-cage.txt
├── h
│   ├── haru.txt
@@ -175,14 +179,16 @@     ├── wip.txt
    ├── withering.txt
    └── wme.txt
-

- -22 directories, 127 files +

+

+

-

+22 directories, 128 files +

+

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