From da616def3d9bd0c4bd98ca05b55c5c8d7ecc7963 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Lethe Beltane Date: Sat, 23 Apr 2022 21:40:35 -0500 Subject: [PATCH] New poem: Passer --- feed.xml | 173 ++++++++++++++++++++------------------------ poetry/index.gmi | 2 +- poetry/index.gph | 1 + poetry/index.html | 5 +- poetry/p/passer.txt | 77 ++++++++++++++++++++ 5 files changed, 162 insertions(+), 96 deletions(-) create mode 100644 poetry/p/passer.txt diff --git a/feed.xml b/feed.xml index 94aff7e..f48d772 100755 --- a/feed.xml +++ b/feed.xml @@ -10,6 +10,86 @@ vanevander@mayvaneday.org + + Passer + + https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/p/passer.txt + 2022-04-23 + + 
+Dreams of my youth in red,
+painted in bloodshed
+from retribution for crimes
+where my body was ripped away,
+proclaimed
+not mine,
+belonging to someone else
+along with my life.
+Yearning to dig my claws into
+someone else's flesh,
+feel
+the heart giving way,
+no longer obligated to kneel
+at my nemesis'
+behest.
+
+But over this Inside lies a veil.
+And while I lie
+in the land of the blind
+half-seeing with eyes groping
+for a shred of the life
+last life's death made me left behind,
+I cannot go feral, cannot exhume
+the beast inside me built of chaos and doom.
+Imagined revenge in a manner
+that would not bring me harm,
+would never, could never
+be traced back to me,
+never raise any alarm
+bells.
+
+But the skies have grown pale
+on this day laden with angel
+numbers. Death in the family.
+A pet's soul has chosen to set sail.
+The wish is granted. The curse is complete.
+The harm has been done, but it does not taste sweet.
+
+You remember, don't you? My thelema, my fate
+was to love at any cost and forget how to hate.
+There's a difference between the sexes in most that I've seen:
+men opt to destroy, and women first choose to escape,
+choose to from what they find odious themselves separate.
+I don't want my enemies to drop over dead.
+I just want to never have my neck be stomped on again.
+
+Does that make sense?
+
+My mother is mourning upstairs.
+"Mourn." When I had first heard
+in elementary school that word,
+I'd thought it was short for "morning",
+as in, "I am sad and waiting for the sun to rise,
+reassurance that I survived,
+that I've still inside me got some life
+left."
+
+Mother, I hope that one day
+you'll forgive me for taking your baby sunshine away.
+That you'll watch the next sunrise for me
+after my psychopomp has taken me to Sablade.
+The sun is also a star.
+And in time
+another star will rise.
+And I can't believe
+after everything
+I'm saying this, but I hope
+this won't be our last goodbye.
+
+ ]]> + + + In The End Of Everything @@ -239,97 +319,4 @@ much longer." - - Stealing Time - - https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/s/stealing-time.txt - 2022-04-04 - - 
-The bike path has been sprayed
-with meteors, brown and burnished
-and leaking to yellow, to naught.
-Trees have done their part to furnish
-the path
-with each and every fallen branch
-they could spare. The flags are frayed,
-marking the entrance to Dead End Shrine,
-sandwiched between two rainy days
-and welcoming this stolen time.
-
-This stolen time,
-I've come to find,
-is the only place where I can live.
-Leaving work early,
-wings unfurling
-to mark a time loop created,
-these bike trips where far too long I've left
-to not come home covered in muck and sweat
-and yet somehow never do,
-the severed hours after bedtime
-when comes to me all these rhymes,
-rest of family long self-sedated.
-
-I don't like this waiting.
-
-I don't like the parting
-when comes time for my love to once more return home.
-"Please don't go.
-Either stay
-or take
-me with you."
-
-Every natural process of life
-that I've ever shied
-away from
-becomes
-less able to terrify
-with her at my side.
-I've made my peace
-with the regular bleed
-whether from womb or breast,
-the growth of velvet patches
-along my hips and chest,
-the hot flashes,
-the persistent desire
-to rip open my seams
-and throw my guts to the fire.
-
-But my brain refuses to cooperate with me.
-It's stealing time,
-stealing memories.
-I know that forgetfulness is my domain,
-but there's still some recollections
-I'd like to remain.
-
-There's still some reflections
-I don't recognize.
-Stealing someone's body,
-looking out through their eyes,
-wearing like a coat their spirit, their life.
-It makes sense in the moment,
-the logic of how their life goes,
-but I wake up and I wonder
-why
-this stranger is so vivid
-but not my own exploits in the Outside.
-
-I promised her that when came
-the day
-for me to give up this vessel and die,
-I'd let her climb into my bed with me
-instead of kneeling at my bedside.
-Emulating that which my mother
-did, but trading one body for another.
-One last breach out of the womb.
-One last parent-induced cry.
-
-And after we leave, I promise you
-
-I'll make up for the stolen time.
-
- ]]> - - - diff --git a/poetry/index.gmi b/poetry/index.gmi index 50140ca..1b7fe1f 100755 --- a/poetry/index.gmi +++ b/poetry/index.gmi @@ -111,7 +111,7 @@ => p/prepari.txt prepari => p/pressed.txt pressed flower petals => p/psa.txt Public Disservice Announcement - +=> p/passer.txt Passer ## R => r/reakirante.txt reakirante => r/regnant.txt regnant diff --git a/poetry/index.gph b/poetry/index.gph index 51713d1..2319bef 100755 --- a/poetry/index.gph +++ b/poetry/index.gph @@ -112,6 +112,7 @@ iP 0prepari p/prepari.txt 0pressed flower petals p/pressed-flower-petals.txt 0Public Disservice Announcement p/psa.txt +0Passer p/passer.txt iR 0reakirante r/reakirante.txt diff --git a/poetry/index.html b/poetry/index.html index f537ef3..2df3eb3 100644 --- a/poetry/index.html +++ b/poetry/index.html @@ -72,7 +72,6 @@ │   ├── gemini.txt
│   ├── green.txt
│   └── the-golden-cage.txt
- ├── gophermap
├── h
│   ├── haru.txt
│   ├── hoarding.txt
@@ -81,6 +80,7 @@ ├── i
│   └── irantaj.txt
├── index.gmi
+ ├── index.gph
├── index.html
├── j
│   ├── jugo.txt
@@ -121,6 +121,7 @@ │   ├── one-less-box.txt
│   └── oracle.txt
├── p
+ │   ├── passer.txt
│   ├── perdition-eden.txt
│   ├── prayer-dark.txt
│   ├── prayer-light.txt
@@ -174,7 +175,7 @@     └── wme.txt


-22 directories, 124 files +22 directories, 125 files

diff --git a/poetry/p/passer.txt b/poetry/p/passer.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8985d60 --- /dev/null +++ b/poetry/p/passer.txt @@ -0,0 +1,77 @@ +Passer +2022-04-23 + +*** + +Dreams of my youth in red, +painted in bloodshed +from retribution for crimes +where my body was ripped away, +proclaimed +not mine, +belonging to someone else +along with my life. +Yearning to dig my claws into +someone else's flesh, +feel +the heart giving way, +no longer obligated to kneel +at my nemesis' +behest. + +But over this Inside lies a veil. +And while I lie +in the land of the blind +half-seeing with eyes groping +for a shred of the life +last life's death made me left behind, +I cannot go feral, cannot exhume +the beast inside me built of chaos and doom. +Imagined revenge in a manner +that would not bring me harm, +would never, could never +be traced back to me, +never raise any alarm +bells. + +But the skies have grown pale +on this day laden with angel +numbers. Death in the family. +A pet's soul has chosen to set sail. +The wish is granted. The curse is complete. +The harm has been done, but it does not taste sweet. + +You remember, don't you? My thelema, my fate +was to love at any cost and forget how to hate. +There's a difference between the sexes in most that I've seen: +men opt to destroy, and women first choose to escape, +choose to from what they find odious themselves separate. +I don't want my enemies to drop over dead. +I just want to never have my neck be stomped on again. + +Does that make sense? + +My mother is mourning upstairs. +"Mourn." When I had first heard +in elementary school that word, +I'd thought it was short for "morning", +as in, "I am sad and waiting for the sun to rise, +reassurance that I survived, +that I've still inside me got some life +left." + +Mother, I hope that one day +you'll forgive me for taking your baby sunshine away. +That you'll watch the next sunrise for me +after my psychopomp has taken me to Sablade. +The sun is also a star. +And in time +another star will rise. +And I can't believe +after everything +I'm saying this, but I hope +this won't be our last goodbye. + +*** + +CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (c) Vane Vander