Yuzu
2023-04-25

***

It looks like
you and I
will be parting ways soon,
Yuzu.

You saw me through both colleges
in Hell
and on that sunny hill,
pushing through Fryer's Inferno
under the gaze of a manager who told
me to go kill myself all the way to this
cubicle where I sit in terror's grip
and not a moment less.

You witnessed my dysphoria peak,
the first time Jett reached
out a hand to raise me from the sheets
even though then I did not yet know her name,
chaotic blood's first fallout, the blame,
escaping mid-night with every written work I could lay
claim to. You knew me as Rinea, Ikky, Lucine,
my legal name, my throwaways, Lethe.
You saw me poke at the universe's edges, analyze
myself under a microscope
flipped around, freak out at every new surprise,
its possibilities, its burdens, its fresh sorrow.

And what is the reward for this? A box
in the mail from the carrier,
packed up soft
and tender
and given to the nice lady at the post office.
After that? Could be anywhere.
Recycled and stripped for minerals
or refurbished and sent to the other side of the world.
Someone less fortunate who can't afford newer.
I hope her soul shines
bright
like mine.
I hope she's a girl
in bitter need of a drastic life change.
Who knows, maybe our paths will cross some day.

***

CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (c) Vane Vander