not found
2019-02-23

***

you can be Kesha
and I'll be Alice.
Alice,
Alice,
Arisu,
*I never meant to hurt you, Arisu.*
*I love you, Arisu.*

I hurt,
and I hurt back,
and I disappear,
and I forget

the light and the dark
a construct as old as time itself
the duality that lies at the heart of mankind
the god and the devil
the sun and the moon
the blue and the gold
the new and the old
the ancient father
of every daughter I've known

but I don't know if I'll make it through this night.

is it because I'm trapped in an institution that does naught but suck money from me?
is it because, no matter where I go on this Wired, I keep making an asshat of myself?
how many licks does it take to get to the center of a trademarked corporate candy?

a-one, a-two, a-three!

the world may never know,
*and I sure as hell don't!*

with aching knees and a heavy heart,
I push myself off the floor
and decide that I will keep fighting.
for what, I know not
for who, I remember not
but even though my feet yearn for rest
my heart must keep thumping

it is 4:04 in the morning
and a phone's brightness is blaring into the night
abandoned by its owner
and I have had gods at my feet
and angels in my arms, in my hair, touching everywhere
even if I cannot remember what they've said

Seliph the Indomitable,
Seliph the E'er-Complete,
it shines above and crawls below
and guides along my feet

***

CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (c) Vane Vander