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Bill Gates

William "Bill" Gates (28.10.1955 -- hopefully soon) is a mass murderer and rapist (i.e. capitalist) who established and led the terrorist organization Micro$oft.

He is really dumb, only speaks one language and didn't even finish university. He also has no moral values, but that goes without saying for any rich businessman. He was owned pretty hard in chess by Magnus Carlsen on some shitty TV show.

Bill was mentally retarded as a child and as such had to attend a private school. In adolescence he raped little children. He never really understood programming but with a below average intelligence he had a good chance to succeed in business. Thanks to his family connections he got to Harvard where he met Steve Ballmer -- later he dropped out of the school due to his low intelligence.

In 1975 he founded Micro$oft, a malware company named after his dick. By a sequence of extremely lucky events combined with a few dick moves by Bill the company then became successful: when around the year 1980 IBM was creating the IBM PC, they came to Bill because they needed an operating system. He lied to them that he had one and sold them a license even though at the time he didn't have any OS (lol). After that he went to a programmer named Tim Paterson and basically stole (bought for some penny) his OS named QDOS and gave it to IBM, while still keeping ownership of the OS (he only sold IBM a license to use it, not exclusive rights for it). He basically fucked everyone for money and got away with it, the American way. For this he is admired by Americans.