3.8 KiB
CSS
TODO
Correct, LRS approved attitute towards this piece of bloat: as a minimalist should you avoid CSS like the devil and never use it? Usual LRS recommendations apply but, just in case, let's reiterate. Use your brain, maximize good, minimize damage, just make it so that no one can ever say "oh no, I wish this site didn't have CSS". You CAN use CSS on your site, but it mustn't become any burden, only something optional that will make life better for those using a browser supporting CSS, i.e. your site MUSTN'T RELY on CSS, CSS mustn't be its dependency, the site has to work perfectly fine without it, not be just a crippled version, i.e. firstly design your site without CSS and only add CSS as an optional improvement. Do not make your HTML bow to CSS, i.e. don't let CSS make you add tons of divs and classes, make HTML first and then make CSS bow to the HTML. Light CSS is better than heavy one. If you have a single page, embed CSS right into it (KISS, site is self contained and browser doesn't have to download extra files for your site) and make it short to save bandwidth on downloading your site. Don't use heavy CSS features like animation, blurs, color transitions or wild repositioning, save the CPU, save the planet (:D). Etcetc.
CSS Gore And Pissing People Off
A user running bloatbrowser that implements CSS and has it turned on by default is openly inviting you to freely remotely manipulate what his computer is showing to him, so let's take this opportunity to do some lighthearted trolling :) Here are some possible approaches:
cursor: Change or even hide the mouse cursor :D You can set it tonone(hide),progress(make the user think something's loading indefinitely, see how long it takes for him to realize),wait,col-resizeor even specific image withurl(...).- Make the site work only without CSS :D For example:
body * { display: none; } body:before { content: "This site only works without CSS." }. - CSS can do animation! This can be used to induce seizures. E.g.:
@keyframes lul { 0% { background-color: red; } 100% { background-color: green; } } body { animation-name: lul; animation-duration: 0.1s; animation-iteration-count: infinite; }. - Animate
<body>size so that the scroll bars keep resizing. a:hover { display: none; }: Makes links disappear when their pointed at with the cursor :D Can also be used for buttons etc.- Make some huge clusterfuck of divs that get arranged in some intricate way, then make each div change its size with
:hover, or better yet usetransformto rotate or skew it, triggering a spectacular domino effect. You have to make it so that if one div reshapes on mouse over, another one gets under the cursor, triggering reshape of that one, which pushes another one under the cursor etc. - Alternative to the previous: make one huge ass div covering the whole screen and make it resize to 1x1 pixels on
:hover, this will cause some vomit inducing blinking whenever mouse is moved. - Use animation to very slowly alter the site, e.g. keep making text more and more transparent, so that it can't be noticed immediately but will become apparent after having the site open for 15 minutes, or maybe just have the site normal but after 10 minutes just immediately rotate it 180 degrees, the user will be like WTF :D or maybe instead of this after 10 minutes just replace the site with some porn image -- there is a chance someone will open the site, then leave the computer for a while, leaving the innocent site open but in the meanwhile it will change to porn and suddenly he will look like the biggest pervert :D
- TODO: some shit that makes CPU burn aka bitcoin miner without bitcoin
- TODO: make the page 1 light year long or something
- TODO: more