less_retarded_wiki/zoomer.md
2024-11-16 22:59:53 +01:00

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Zoomer

Zoomers (also GenZ or technoslave) are weird aliens that started to be born instead of real people from around late 1990s, they come after millenials, the last generation of true people to have appeared on Earth. Zoomers are very scary, like slenderman from creepypasta, basically robotic entities born from normal people, no longer having real emotion or normal taste, ability to see what looks good or bad or what's nice and what's degenerated, they are just born to hold a cellphone and consume ads that appear on the display served by the corporations. Usually they look like the mentioned slenderman: two to three meters tall -- due to having grown up in 21st century and only eating genetically modified chicken -- but extremely anorexic and wearing broccoli haircut, constantly looking down into the smartphone which the zoomer's organism needs to survive; without smartphone a zoomer falls into coma and dies within 24 hours. Zoomers are absolute slaves to technology (without knowing how it works), mental illnesses (of which they must have at least 10) as well as sexual confusion -- zoomer has no idea what gender or even species he is, he thinks he is a rabbit hermaphrodite or transsexual fluid or afroamerican jewish spiderman or something, it would just be weird for him to be a normal man or woman. He also thinks only about sex from the day he is born, he can't watch even a child fairytale without sexually analyzing every scene and painting rule 34 scenarios in his head, he has addiction to masturbation, porn, Internet, ads, food, ricing, TikTok videos and basically just everything he comes to contact with. Zoomer chicks are practically just a walking ass with tiny head on top, they have trousers pulled up below armpits like Clint Eastwood, to showcase that gigantic ass (despite actually protesting sexualization of women).

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