less_retarded_wiki/jesus.md

Jesus

Jesus Christ (also Jesus of Nazareth, about 4 BC to 33 AD) was a jewish carpenter preacher that was said to be the son of God, whose life along with supposed miracles he performed is described by the Bible (specifically its New Testament), and who is the center figure of Christianity, the world's largest religion; as such he is probably the most famous of all men in history (probably followed by Hitler, kind of his opposite). In fact we count our years more or less from his birth. He gained many followers as he preached that God has decided to change his laws a bit and accept all "well behaved" people into his heaven kingdom (i.e. not just jews as was the case until then). For causing a great social disturbance by this he was later crucified, as he himself predicted -- according to the Bible he sacrificed himself by this to redeem the sins of all people, was resurrected after death and came up to the heaven to dwell by the God's side. Without subscribing to any mass religion or even having to believe in god, our LRS is greatly aligned with much of the teaching of Jesus Christ, especially that of non violence, love of all people (even one's "enemies"), modesty, frugality etc.

As perhaps the most influential man in history whose image has been twisted, used and abused over the centuries, we have to nowadays distinguish two separate characters:

• Jesus of the Bible: Jesus as described by the Bible, a book full of centuries worth of distortion, inaccuracies and purposeful religious propaganda. Here Jesus is to a great degree a fictional character, though based on a real man; he is the son of God (some even seeing him as actually the God himself somehow), a man without sin, born from a virgin, who performed countless miracles like healing the blind and even resurrecting dead, who spoke the word of God, was resurrected after death and is now overlooking us from the heaven.
• historical Jesus: The true man, as seen by history, that actually lived and was almost definitely just a mere mortal like any of us, even if others and perhaps even himself may have believed otherwise. Most historians agree Jesus lived (with some minority disagreeing), though of course they reject he would possess any supernatural powers -- these, they say, are things spawned as a legend, a propaganda of mass religion etc.

Jesus was anarchist, pacifist, communist and explicitly rejected capitalism, though stupid American capital and military worshippers tattoo shit such as "What would Jesus do?" on their asses, they somehow seem to masterfully apply selective blindness and completely ignore his quotes such as:

• "A camel will go through the eye of a needle before a rich man enters the kingdom of God." --Jesus
• "If someone wants to sue you and take your shirt, give him your coat also." --Jesus
• "If someone throws stone at you, throw back at him as well but with bread." --Jesus
• "I tell you: do not resist an evil man. If anyone slaps you on the cheek, turn to him the other cheek also." --Jesus
• "Thou shalt not kill." being directly in ten commandments lol (maybe they don't understand because the language is archaic)
• ...

(Americans are stupid idiots who say they love Jesus but rather love to reference Old Testament for their pragmatics life decisions, however the law of Old Testament was explicitly cancelled by Jesus and updated to a new one, based on love and nonviolence rather than violence, punishment and revenge -- this is the whole point of why Jesus came to Earth in the first place. But as it's been said, Americans are stupid.)

fun facts about Jesus:

• He had siblings according to the Bible: brothers James, Joses, Simon, Jude and some sisters.
• He was most likely crucified naked, as was common practice to dishonor the crucified people. Covering his nudity in most depictions may be because of the effort to make it less obvious he was a jew, i.e. that his penis was circumcised.
• He is acknowledged by other religions such as the Islam, though in these he usually plays some minor role of just some mortal preacher.
• We do not sport any anti-white political correctness, however the traditional depictions of his looks are likely wrong, he most likely looked much different from the bearded, long-hair white man depictions we see in paintings -- these were likely affected by the Greek ideals of what gods look like. Jesus was a jew, probably of darker skin like all people from the area he lived in, possibly without long hair as some of his followers mention in the Bible that it is inappropriate for a man to have long hair.
• There are some non-canonical gospels (not accepted to Bible) that talk some funny shit about Jesus, e.g. the Infancy Gospel of Thomas talks about how Jesus as a child killed other children in revenge with his supernatural powers.
• Jesus is supposed to return and judge the people: this is known as the Second Coming and is hinted on in the Bible, though the details on the date or even the nature of the event are unclear and interpreted differently. Before the second coming a number of antichrists, or false prophets, are to appear.
• ...

TODO: moar