less_retarded_wiki/steve_jobs.md
2024-09-07 16:47:08 +02:00

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Steve Jobs

"I'm not glad he's dead, but I'm glad he's gone." -- Richard Stallman

Steve Jobs (also Steve Jewbs) was the prototypical evil CEO dictator and co-founder of one of the worst corporations in the world: Apple. He was a psychopathic entrepreneur with a cult of personality that makes Americans cum. He was mainly known for his ability to manipulate people and he worsened technology by making it more consumerist, expensive and incompatible with already existing technology. All americans masturbate daily to Steve Jobs so he can also be considered the most famous US porn star. Someone once said that there are essentially two types of men in technology: those who understand what they don't manage and those who manage what they don't understand. Jobs was the latter.

{ LOL how come in the American movies the villain is always some rich boss of a huge corporation clearly resembling Steve Jobs, doing literally the same things, it's almost as if the average American actually somehow KNOWS and feels deep inside these people are pure evil, but suddenly outside of a Hollywood movie their brain switches to "aaaaah, that guy is amazing" and they just eat all his bullshit. I just can't comprehend this. ~drummyfish }

Jobs was born on February 24, 1955 and later was adopted which may have contributed to his development of psychopathy. He was already very stupid as a little child, he never really learned programming and was only interested in achieving what he wanted by crying and pressuring other people to do things for him. This translated very well to his adult life when he quit school to pursue money. He manipulated and abused his schoolmate Steve Wozniak, a hacker, to make computers for him. They started Apple in 1976 and started producing one of the first personal computers: Apple I and Apple II with which he won the capitalist lottery and unfortunately succeeded on the market. Apple became a big ass company, however Jobs was such shit CEO that Apple fired him lol. He went to do some other shit like NeXT. Then a bunch of things happened (TODO) and then, to the relief of the whole world, he died on October 5, 2011 from cancer. { LRS never wishes for anyone's death, here we only state the simple fact that the world is a better place without Jobs in it. ~drummyfish } Some cause joy wherever they go, others whenever they go.