2.9 KiB
Bill Gate$
"Some people are so poor that all they've got is money."
William "Bill" Gaytes (28.10.1955 -- TODO) is a mass murderer and rapist (i.e. capitalist) who established and led the terrorist organization Micro$oft. He is one of the most rich and evil individuals in history who took over the world by force establishing the malware "operating system" Window$ as the common operating system, nowadays being dangerous especially by hiding behind his "charity organization" (see charitywashing) which has been widely criticized (see e.g. http://techrights.org/wiki/Gates_Foundation_Critique, even such mainstream media as Wikipedia present the criticism) but which nevertheless makes him look as someone doing "public good" in the eyes of the naive brainless NPC masses.
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dead or alive
ASCII portrait of Bill Gaytes
He is really dumb, only speaks one language and didn't even finish university. He also has no moral values, but that goes without saying for any rich businessman. He was owned pretty hard in chess by Magnus Carlsen on some shitty TV show.
When Bill was born, his father was just busy counting dollar bills, so he named him Bill. Bill was mentally retarded as a child and as such had to attend a private school. He never really understood programming but with a below average intelligence he had a good shot at succeeding in business. Thanks to his family connections he got to Harvard where he met Steve Ballmer. Later he dropped out of the school due to his low intelligence.
In 1975 he founded Micro$oft, a malware company named after his dick. By a sequence of extremely lucky events combined with a few dick moves by Bill the company then became successful: when around the year 1980 IBM was creating the IBM PC, they came to Bill because they needed an operating system. He lied to them that he had one and sold them a license even though at the time he didn't have any OS (lol). After that he went to a programmer named Tim Paterson and basically stole (bought for some penny) his OS named QDOS and gave it to IBM, while still keeping ownership of the OS (he only sold IBM a license to use it, not exclusive rights for it). He basically fucked everyone for money and got away with it, the American way. For this he is admired by Americans.
When Bill Gates and Steve Jobs saw how enormously rich they got by abusing the whole world, they got horny and had gay sex together, after which Bill legally changed his name to Bill Gaytes. This however gave Jobs ass cancer and he died.