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3.9 KiB

Trolling

TODO

Here are some potentially fun ways of trolling (they'll be written from the point of view of a fictional character so as to avoid legal responsibility for potential crimes they may inspire lol):

  • Link troll: on my website I randomly put dangerous links that look like normal links, for example "back to homepage" leads to a Google search of "free CP" or "how to get a bomb on the plane". This way anyone who clicks it automatically gets on the NSA watch list :D
  • Crime troll:
    • Evidence troll: before committing crime I go to a barber shop and collect hair on the floor. Later I scatter all this hair all around the crime scene so that investigators get overwhelmed with DNA evidence of dozens of unrelated people :D This is also know as DNA DDOS (or just DOS?).
    • Crime without motive: criminal investigators always look for a motive in a crime, if there is none they get greatly confused, so for example as an extremely rich man owning 10 Lamborghinis I like to just steal some shitty car from time to time -- even if clues point to me they are always like "why would this rich man steal such a shitty car, it doesn't make sense". I just laugh :D
    • Irrational crime: similarly investigators usually suspect some basic rationality even of the most stupid criminal -- you want to behave even stupider than that. For example I break into two stores and then just relocate goods from one to the other, then leave :D
  • Seizure troll: when in some kind of lecture where the students are allowed laptops (typically in a compsci uni) I take a seat somewhere in the front row, near the lecturer, open my laptop and start a program that just rapidly flashes wild colors in fullscreen -- I leave it like that for the whole lecture so that everyone sitting behind me is forced to watch the flashing and can get an epileptic seizure. For educational purposes code for such a program can be written in a few lines of browser JavaScript (it may coincidentally possibly even be found in that JavaScript article).
  • Eco whoring troll: I take a bag of plastic trash, go to the forest, find some nice, clean place, take a thumbs up selfie photo with it, dump the trash in there, take another photo, then post the photos in reverse order to Twitter with something like "today I worked tirelessly to clean this garbage dump, for our children!", get a million eco likes for literally dumping plastic trash in a forest.
  • Creative Wikipedia vandalism: for example funny redirects or categorizations (put Bill Gates to "famous homosexuals" category or something), also consider vandalizing other wikis that usually don't have as much protection.
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  • Classic trollz revolve around creating drama on forums -- this is kind of an art as you have to keep the right balance of seriousness and stupidity; too much of the former and you're not trolling anyone, too much of the latter and you're just spotted as obvious troll. It's definitely not about logging on a starting to drop the N-words and insulting everyone, that's just an instant ban that ends the fun; you rather want to start slow, get many people seriously involved in the discussion, be polite and then slightly steer the talk towards something controversial (nice if you pretend to be part of some "oppressed minority"). Then you just make it look like you're just an uneducated simple minded individual who kind of happens to lean towards an opinion the others truly hate, but you have to keep their hope that they can convince you to change your opinion, so still try to be polite, just so you keep arguing with them and wasting more and more of their time until they start losing their shit and the thread explodes into hitler arguments etc., then just watch and enjoy.
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