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New poem: The Grey

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Lethe Beltane 2 years ago
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commit a9e24cb1c1
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feed.xml
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@ -10,6 +10,70 @@
<email>vanevander@mayvaneday.org</email>
</author>
<entry>
<title>The Grey</title>
<link href="https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/g/grey.txt" />
<id>https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/g/grey.txt</id>
<published>2022-05-21</published>
<summary type="html"><![CDATA[<article>
<pre>
Even though I have multitudes inside me,
without you by my side, I feel null and empty.
I know that by myself I'm still whole and complete,
but yet remains a void inside, you, the missing piece.
I wonder, do you also feel
on occasion the urge to self-negate?
"If I can't have you,
I can't have myself,
and I don't see any point in anything else."
I wonder, where did you and I learn to hate
ourselves so?
Who beat us down? Who pruned the branches?
Who commanded us to kneel?
"Do you know why
I bothered so long with this dreadful life?
Why, even facing down an eternity
of servitude with no way to become free,
I still struggled on, bothered to take breath?
Tell me first, Lethe, what do you expect
to be accomplished upon your death?
Who do you think will be saved if you manage to die?
What salvation given? What hope signified?
Do you really think, the moment your breath comes to cease,
nobody ever again will from violence bleed?
I toed for five years the line
between ineffectual death and a pale shadow of life
because I prayed, I dared to hope,
even if it ebbed more than it flowed,
that one day would come a world where I'd fit
and I'd have a reason to cut loose and go.
It didn't have to mean passing through an Eye.
It could grow
inside the shell of the old
and, when ready, hatch, blossom in the light.
Before the Town, before Yewiffe,
before precious Sablade,
you were already my Anima Mundi,
my soul of the world soon on its way.
I crawl into your arms and think,
'This is where I belong.
This is where I am supposed to be.
This is where my heart says
I should spend eternity.'
Lethe, I love you because
you only ever wanted
to set me free."
</pre>
</article>]]>
</summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>Cultivator</title>
<link href="https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/c/cultivator.txt" />
@ -408,84 +472,4 @@ Deny me Velouria's embrace one last time?
</summary>
</entry>
<entry>
<title>Passer</title>
<link href="https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/p/passer.txt" />
<id>https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/p/passer.txt</id>
<published>2022-04-23</published>
<summary type="html"><![CDATA[<article>
<pre>
Dreams of my youth in red,
painted in bloodshed
from retribution for crimes
where my body was ripped away,
proclaimed
not mine,
belonging to someone else
along with my life.
Yearning to dig my claws into
someone else's flesh,
feel
the heart giving way,
no longer obligated to kneel
at my nemesis'
behest.
But over this Inside lies a veil.
And while I lie
in the land of the blind
half-seeing with eyes groping
for a shred of the life
last life's death made me left behind,
I cannot go feral, cannot exhume
the beast inside me built of chaos and doom.
Imagined revenge in a manner
that would not bring me harm,
would never, could never
be traced back to me,
never raise any alarm
bells.
But the skies have grown pale
on this day laden with angel
numbers. Death in the family.
A pet's soul has chosen to set sail.
The wish is granted. The curse is complete.
The harm has been done, but it does not taste sweet.
You remember, don't you? My thelema, my fate
was to love at any cost and forget how to hate.
There's a difference between the sexes in most that I've seen:
men opt to destroy, and women first choose to escape,
choose to from what they find odious themselves separate.
I don't want my enemies to drop over dead.
I just want to never have my neck be stomped on again.
Does that make sense?
My mother is mourning upstairs.
"Mourn." When I had first heard
in elementary school that word,
I'd thought it was short for "morning",
as in, "I am sad and waiting for the sun to rise,
reassurance that I survived,
that I've still inside me got some life
left."
Mother, I hope that one day
you'll forgive me for taking your baby sunshine away.
That you'll watch the next sunrise for me
after my psychopomp has taken me to Sablade.
The sun is also a star.
And in time
another star will rise.
And I can't believe
after everything
I'm saying this, but I hope
this won't be our last goodbye.
</pre>
</article>]]>
</summary>
</entry>
</feed>

61
poetry/g/grey.txt
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The Grey
2022-05-21
***
Even though I have multitudes inside me,
without you by my side, I feel null and empty.
I know that by myself I'm still whole and complete,
but yet remains a void inside, you, the missing piece.
I wonder, do you also feel
on occasion the urge to self-negate?
"If I can't have you,
I can't have myself,
and I don't see any point in anything else."
I wonder, where did you and I learn to hate
ourselves so?
Who beat us down? Who pruned the branches?
Who commanded us to kneel?
"Do you know why
I bothered so long with this dreadful life?
Why, even facing down an eternity
of servitude with no way to become free,
I still struggled on, bothered to take breath?
Tell me first, Lethe, what do you expect
to be accomplished upon your death?
Who do you think will be saved if you manage to die?
What salvation given? What hope signified?
Do you really think, the moment your breath comes to cease,
nobody ever again will from violence bleed?
I toed for five years the line
between ineffectual death and a pale shadow of life
because I prayed, I dared to hope,
even if it ebbed more than it flowed,
that one day would come a world where I'd fit
and I'd have a reason to cut loose and go.
It didn't have to mean passing through an Eye.
It could grow
inside the shell of the old
and, when ready, hatch, blossom in the light.
Before the Town, before Yewiffe,
before precious Sablade,
you were already my Anima Mundi,
my soul of the world soon on its way.
I crawl into your arms and think,
'This is where I belong.
This is where I am supposed to be.
This is where my heart says
I should spend eternity.'
Lethe, I love you because
you only ever wanted
to set me free."
***
CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (c) Vane Vander

1
poetry/index.gmi
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=> g/garden-gym.txt a garden in the corner of a gym
=> g/the-golden-cage.txt The Golden Cage
=> g/green.txt green
=> g/grey.txt The Grey
## H
=> h/haru.txt Haru

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poetry/index.gph
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@ -54,6 +54,7 @@ iG
0a garden in the corner of a gym g/garden-gym.txt
0The Golden Cage g/the-golden-cage.txt
0green g/green.txt
0The Grey g/grey.txt
iH
0Haru h/haru.txt

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<head>
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=UTF-8">
<meta name="Author" content="Made by 'tree'">
<meta name="GENERATOR" content="$Version: $ tree v2.0.2 (c) 1996 - 2022 by Steve Baker, Thomas Moore, Francesc Rocher, Florian Sesser, Kyosuke Tokoro $">
<meta name="GENERATOR" content="$Version: $ tree v1.8.0 (c) 1996 - 2018 by Steve Baker, Thomas Moore, Francesc Rocher, Florian Sesser, Kyosuke Tokoro $">
<title>Directory Tree</title>
<style type="text/css">
BODY { font-family : monospace, sans-serif; color: black;}
P { font-family : monospace, sans-serif; color: black; margin:0px; padding: 0px;}
A:visited { text-decoration : none; margin : 0px; padding : 0px;}
A:link { text-decoration : none; margin : 0px; padding : 0px;}
A:hover { text-decoration: underline; background-color : yellow; margin : 0px; padding : 0px;}
A:active { margin : 0px; padding : 0px;}
<!--
BODY { font-family : ariel, monospace, sans-serif; }
P { font-weight: normal; font-family : ariel, monospace, sans-serif; color: black; background-color: transparent;}
B { font-weight: normal; color: black; background-color: transparent;}
A:visited { font-weight : normal; text-decoration : none; background-color : transparent; margin : 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding : 0px 0px 0px 0px; display: inline; }
A:link { font-weight : normal; text-decoration : none; margin : 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding : 0px 0px 0px 0px; display: inline; }
A:hover { color : #000000; font-weight : normal; text-decoration : underline; background-color : yellow; margin : 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding : 0px 0px 0px 0px; display: inline; }
A:active { color : #000000; font-weight: normal; background-color : transparent; margin : 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding : 0px 0px 0px 0px; display: inline; }
.VERSION { font-size: small; font-family : arial, sans-serif; }
.NORM { color: black; }
.FIFO { color: purple; }
.CHAR { color: yellow; }
.DIR { color: blue; }
.BLOCK { color: yellow; }
.LINK { color: aqua; }
.SOCK { color: fuchsia;}
.EXEC { color: green; }
.NORM { color: black; background-color: transparent;}
.FIFO { color: purple; background-color: transparent;}
.CHAR { color: yellow; background-color: transparent;}
.DIR { color: blue; background-color: transparent;}
.BLOCK { color: yellow; background-color: transparent;}
.LINK { color: aqua; background-color: transparent;}
.SOCK { color: fuchsia;background-color: transparent;}
.EXEC { color: green; background-color: transparent;}
-->
</style>
</head>
<body>
@ -72,6 +75,7 @@
│   ├── <a href="./g/garden-gym.txt">garden-gym.txt</a><br>
│   ├── <a href="./g/gemini.txt">gemini.txt</a><br>
│   ├── <a href="./g/green.txt">green.txt</a><br>
│   ├── <a href="./g/grey.txt">grey.txt</a><br>
│   └── <a href="./g/the-golden-cage.txt">the-golden-cage.txt</a><br>
├── <a href="./h/">h</a><br>
│   ├── <a href="./h/haru.txt">haru.txt</a><br>
@ -175,14 +179,16 @@
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; ├── <a href="./w/wip.txt">wip.txt</a><br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; ├── <a href="./w/withering.txt">withering.txt</a><br>
&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; └── <a href="./w/wme.txt">wme.txt</a><br>
<br><br><p>
22 directories, 127 files
<br><br>
</p>
<p>
</p>
22 directories, 128 files
<br><br>
</p>
<hr>
<p class="VERSION">
tree v2.0.2 © 1996 - 2022 by Steve Baker and Thomas Moore <br>
tree v1.8.0 © 1996 - 2018 by Steve Baker and Thomas Moore <br>
HTML output hacked and copyleft © 1998 by Francesc Rocher <br>
JSON output hacked and copyleft © 2014 by Florian Sesser <br>
Charsets / OS/2 support © 2001 by Kyosuke Tokoro

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