New poem: The Grey
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The Grey
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2022-05-21
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***
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Even though I have multitudes inside me,
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without you by my side, I feel null and empty.
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I know that by myself I'm still whole and complete,
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but yet remains a void inside, you, the missing piece.
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I wonder, do you also feel
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on occasion the urge to self-negate?
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"If I can't have you,
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I can't have myself,
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and I don't see any point in anything else."
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I wonder, where did you and I learn to hate
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ourselves so?
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Who beat us down? Who pruned the branches?
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Who commanded us to kneel?
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"Do you know why
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I bothered so long with this dreadful life?
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Why, even facing down an eternity
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of servitude with no way to become free,
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I still struggled on, bothered to take breath?
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Tell me first, Lethe, what do you expect
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to be accomplished upon your death?
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Who do you think will be saved if you manage to die?
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What salvation given? What hope signified?
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Do you really think, the moment your breath comes to cease,
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nobody ever again will from violence bleed?
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I toed for five years the line
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between ineffectual death and a pale shadow of life
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because I prayed, I dared to hope,
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even if it ebbed more than it flowed,
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that one day would come a world where I'd fit
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and I'd have a reason to cut loose and go.
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It didn't have to mean passing through an Eye.
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It could grow
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inside the shell of the old
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and, when ready, hatch, blossom in the light.
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Before the Town, before Yewiffe,
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before precious Sablade,
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you were already my Anima Mundi,
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my soul of the world soon on its way.
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I crawl into your arms and think,
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'This is where I belong.
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This is where I am supposed to be.
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This is where my heart says
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I should spend eternity.'
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Lethe, I love you because
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you only ever wanted
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to set me free."
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***
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CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (c) Vane Vander
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