New poem: The Grey

feed.xml

@@ -10,6 +10,70 @@
 		<email>vanevander@mayvaneday.org</email>
 	</author>
 
+	<entry>
+		<title>The Grey</title>
+		<link href="https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/g/grey.txt" />
+		<id>https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/g/grey.txt</id>
+		<published>2022-05-21</published>
+		<summary type="html"><![CDATA[<article>
+<pre>
+Even though I have multitudes inside me,
+without you by my side, I feel null and empty.
+I know that by myself I'm still whole and complete,
+but yet remains a void inside, you, the missing piece.
+
+I wonder, do you also feel
+on occasion the urge to self-negate?
+"If I can't have you,
+I can't have myself,
+and I don't see any point in anything else."
+I wonder, where did you and I learn to hate
+ourselves so?
+Who beat us down? Who pruned the branches?
+Who commanded us to kneel?
+
+"Do you know why
+I bothered so long with this dreadful life?
+Why, even facing down an eternity
+of servitude with no way to become free,
+I still struggled on, bothered to take breath?
+
+Tell me first, Lethe, what do you expect
+to be accomplished upon your death?
+Who do you think will be saved if you manage to die?
+What salvation given? What hope signified?
+Do you really think, the moment your breath comes to cease,
+nobody ever again will from violence bleed?
+
+I toed for five years the line
+between ineffectual death and a pale shadow of life
+because I prayed, I dared to hope,
+even if it ebbed more than it flowed,
+that one day would come a world where I'd fit
+and I'd have a reason to cut loose and go.
+It didn't have to mean passing through an Eye.
+It could grow
+inside the shell of the old
+and, when ready, hatch, blossom in the light.
+
+Before the Town, before Yewiffe,
+before precious Sablade,
+you were already my Anima Mundi,
+my soul of the world soon on its way.
+I crawl into your arms and think,
+'This is where I belong.
+This is where I am supposed to be.
+This is where my heart says
+I should spend eternity.'
+
+Lethe, I love you because
+you only ever wanted
+to set me free."
+</pre>
+				</article>]]>
+		</summary>
+	</entry>
+
 	<entry>
 		<title>Cultivator</title>
 		<link href="https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/c/cultivator.txt" />
@@ -408,84 +472,4 @@ Deny me Velouria's embrace one last time?
 		</summary>
 	</entry>
 
-	<entry>
-		<title>Passer</title>
-		<link href="https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/p/passer.txt" />
-		<id>https://mayvaneday.org/poetry/p/passer.txt</id>
-		<published>2022-04-23</published>
-		<summary type="html"><![CDATA[<article>
-				<pre>
-Dreams of my youth in red,
-painted in bloodshed
-from retribution for crimes
-where my body was ripped away,
-proclaimed
-not mine,
-belonging to someone else
-along with my life.
-Yearning to dig my claws into
-someone else's flesh,
-feel
-the heart giving way,
-no longer obligated to kneel
-at my nemesis'
-behest.
-
-But over this Inside lies a veil.
-And while I lie
-in the land of the blind
-half-seeing with eyes groping
-for a shred of the life
-last life's death made me left behind,
-I cannot go feral, cannot exhume
-the beast inside me built of chaos and doom.
-Imagined revenge in a manner
-that would not bring me harm,
-would never, could never
-be traced back to me,
-never raise any alarm
-bells.
-
-But the skies have grown pale
-on this day laden with angel
-numbers. Death in the family.
-A pet's soul has chosen to set sail.
-The wish is granted. The curse is complete.
-The harm has been done, but it does not taste sweet.
-
-You remember, don't you? My thelema, my fate
-was to love at any cost and forget how to hate.
-There's a difference between the sexes in most that I've seen:
-men opt to destroy, and women first choose to escape,
-choose to from what they find odious themselves separate.
-I don't want my enemies to drop over dead.
-I just want to never have my neck be stomped on again.
-
-Does that make sense?
-
-My mother is mourning upstairs.
-"Mourn." When I had first heard
-in elementary school that word,
-I'd thought it was short for "morning",
-as in, "I am sad and waiting for the sun to rise,
-reassurance that I survived,
-that I've still inside me got some life
-left."
-
-Mother, I hope that one day
-you'll forgive me for taking your baby sunshine away.
-That you'll watch the next sunrise for me
-after my psychopomp has taken me to Sablade.
-The sun is also a star.
-And in time
-another star will rise.
-And I can't believe
-after everything
-I'm saying this, but I hope
-this won't be our last goodbye.
-				</pre>
-				</article>]]>
-		</summary>
-	</entry>
-
 </feed>

poetry/g/grey.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,61 @@
+The Grey
+2022-05-21
+
+***
+
+Even though I have multitudes inside me,
+without you by my side, I feel null and empty.
+I know that by myself I'm still whole and complete,
+but yet remains a void inside, you, the missing piece.
+
+I wonder, do you also feel
+on occasion the urge to self-negate?
+"If I can't have you,
+I can't have myself,
+and I don't see any point in anything else."
+I wonder, where did you and I learn to hate
+ourselves so?
+Who beat us down? Who pruned the branches?
+Who commanded us to kneel?
+
+"Do you know why
+I bothered so long with this dreadful life?
+Why, even facing down an eternity
+of servitude with no way to become free,
+I still struggled on, bothered to take breath?
+
+Tell me first, Lethe, what do you expect
+to be accomplished upon your death?
+Who do you think will be saved if you manage to die?
+What salvation given? What hope signified?
+Do you really think, the moment your breath comes to cease,
+nobody ever again will from violence bleed?
+
+I toed for five years the line
+between ineffectual death and a pale shadow of life
+because I prayed, I dared to hope,
+even if it ebbed more than it flowed,
+that one day would come a world where I'd fit
+and I'd have a reason to cut loose and go.
+It didn't have to mean passing through an Eye.
+It could grow
+inside the shell of the old
+and, when ready, hatch, blossom in the light.
+
+Before the Town, before Yewiffe,
+before precious Sablade,
+you were already my Anima Mundi,
+my soul of the world soon on its way.
+I crawl into your arms and think,
+'This is where I belong.
+This is where I am supposed to be.
+This is where my heart says
+I should spend eternity.'
+
+Lethe, I love you because
+you only ever wanted
+to set me free."
+
+***
+
+CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 (c) Vane Vander

poetry/index.gmi

@@ -53,6 +53,7 @@
 => g/garden-gym.txt	a garden in the corner of a gym
 => g/the-golden-cage.txt	The Golden Cage
 => g/green.txt	green
+=> g/grey.txt	The Grey
 
 ## H
 => h/haru.txt	Haru

poetry/index.gph

@@ -54,6 +54,7 @@ iG
 0a garden in the corner of a gym	g/garden-gym.txt
 0The Golden Cage	g/the-golden-cage.txt
 0green	g/green.txt
+0The Grey	g/grey.txt
 
 iH	
 0Haru	h/haru.txt

poetry/index.html

@@ -3,24 +3,27 @@
 <head>
  <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=UTF-8">
  <meta name="Author" content="Made by 'tree'">
- <meta name="GENERATOR" content="$Version: $ tree v2.0.2 (c) 1996 - 2022 by Steve Baker, Thomas Moore, Francesc Rocher, Florian Sesser, Kyosuke Tokoro $">
+ <meta name="GENERATOR" content="$Version: $ tree v1.8.0 (c) 1996 - 2018 by Steve Baker, Thomas Moore, Francesc Rocher, Florian Sesser, Kyosuke Tokoro $">
  <title>Directory Tree</title>
  <style type="text/css">
-  BODY { font-family : monospace, sans-serif;  color: black;}
+  <!-- 
-  P { font-family : monospace, sans-serif; color: black; margin:0px; padding: 0px;}
+  BODY { font-family : ariel, monospace, sans-serif; }
-  A:visited { text-decoration : none; margin : 0px; padding : 0px;}
+  P { font-weight: normal; font-family : ariel, monospace, sans-serif; color: black; background-color: transparent;}
-  A:link    { text-decoration : none; margin : 0px; padding : 0px;}
+  B { font-weight: normal; color: black; background-color: transparent;}
-  A:hover   { text-decoration: underline; background-color : yellow; margin : 0px; padding : 0px;}
+  A:visited { font-weight : normal; text-decoration : none; background-color : transparent; margin : 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding : 0px 0px 0px 0px; display: inline; }
-  A:active  { margin : 0px; padding : 0px;}
+  A:link    { font-weight : normal; text-decoration : none; margin : 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding : 0px 0px 0px 0px; display: inline; }
+  A:hover   { color : #000000; font-weight : normal; text-decoration : underline; background-color : yellow; margin : 0px 0px 0px 0px; padding : 0px 0px 0px 0px; display: inline; }
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   .VERSION { font-size: small; font-family : arial, sans-serif; }
-  .NORM  { color: black;  }
+  .NORM  { color: black;  background-color: transparent;}
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+  .FIFO  { color: purple; background-color: transparent;}
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+  .CHAR  { color: yellow; background-color: transparent;}
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+  .DIR   { color: blue;   background-color: transparent;}
-  .BLOCK { color: yellow; }
+  .BLOCK { color: yellow; background-color: transparent;}
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+  .LINK  { color: aqua;   background-color: transparent;}
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+  .SOCK  { color: fuchsia;background-color: transparent;}
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+  .EXEC  { color: green;  background-color: transparent;}
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 </head>
 <body>
@@ -72,6 +75,7 @@
 	│   ├── <a href="./g/garden-gym.txt">garden-gym.txt</a><br>
 	│   ├── <a href="./g/gemini.txt">gemini.txt</a><br>
 	│   ├── <a href="./g/green.txt">green.txt</a><br>
+	│   ├── <a href="./g/grey.txt">grey.txt</a><br>
 	│   └── <a href="./g/the-golden-cage.txt">the-golden-cage.txt</a><br>
 	├── <a href="./h/">h</a><br>
 	│   ├── <a href="./h/haru.txt">haru.txt</a><br>
@@ -175,14 +179,16 @@
 	&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; ├── <a href="./w/wip.txt">wip.txt</a><br>
 	&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; ├── <a href="./w/withering.txt">withering.txt</a><br>
 	&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; └── <a href="./w/wme.txt">wme.txt</a><br>
-<br><br><p>
+	<br><br>
+	</p>
+	<p>
 
-22 directories, 127 files
+22 directories, 128 files
-
+	<br><br>
-</p>
+	</p>
 	<hr>
 	<p class="VERSION">
-		 tree v2.0.2 © 1996 - 2022 by Steve Baker and Thomas Moore <br>
+		 tree v1.8.0 © 1996 - 2018 by Steve Baker and Thomas Moore <br>
 		 HTML output hacked and copyleft © 1998 by Francesc Rocher <br>
 		 JSON output hacked and copyleft © 2014 by Florian Sesser <br>
 		 Charsets / OS/2 support © 2001 by Kyosuke Tokoro